My BluePrint Cleanse Recap

I've always been extremely weight conscious. It doesn't mean I've never been a little heavier than I wanted to be (see: sophomore year of college) or that I've ever been underweight (see: never). It just means that I’m incredibly vain and care a lot about how I look, specifically, what I weigh and how I look and feel in my clothes. Ideally, I’d look just this side of deathly skinny all the time.

Unsurprisingly, my vanity around weight control has manifested itself into a lifelong preoccupation with the way I eat. When I was a pre-teen, it was all about low-fat, like any uninformed dieter. Then as a teen, my mom and I experimented with Atkins, which I can still argue was one of the most effective “diets” I've ever done. When I came back from college following my sophomore year, I officially went on a low-calorie diet, replete with Lean Cuisines, salad, and Kashi cereal. Most recently, Kyle and I adopted a “paleo” lifestyle (I hate to use the word, but I’ve yet to come up with a better one…), which took some getting used to, but overall I feel good about. Except for all the times I haven’t been eating “paleo” which is probably 70% of the time at this point. After re-reading this paragraph, it probably sounds like I have disordered eating, and ya know, maybe I do sometimes (I’d love to know of any one female who has never struggled with body image and the way she eats as a side effect), but the truth of the matter is, I pretty much eat what I want when I want. Always have. I've never been the kind of person who would only eat a few morsels of food and the run off from an ice cube as a way to lose weight or feel better. I've also never made myself throw up after eating. I take so much issue with that technique, from the sheer disgust I have for vomiting to the waste of money spent on undigested food! Whatever, eating disorders aren't really the point here.

What I’m getting at is, despite my enthusiasm for keeping my weight in a desirable place, I can’t fathom doing it in such a way that would restrict so much food since, like, I love food. So the idea of consuming ONLY juice for three days in a row just seemed pretentious and a little bit stupid: “I’m so disciplined, I can CHOOSINGLY skip 9 meals in the name of vanity/health, ha ha! Suck it people who don’t have enough food!”

Of course, I AM pretentious and a little bit stupid, so I jumped on the bandwagon anyway. Ultimately, yes, I thought the BluePrintCleanse would be a good way to lose some weight (which I’ll get to in a minute), but mostly I did it for two reasons: 

1.) to see if the philosophy of letting my digestive system rest really would make me feel better.

2.) to get some good blog material. CupcakesOMG! is nothing if not honest to a fault!

So, you probably want an answer to reason #1 : Did I feel better after juicing for three days?

It’s probably worth noting that I am very, very fortunate to not have any illnesses, pain, or any other ongoing health issues that would create enough daily misery for me to notice any drastic changes to my body. I’m just a regular, vain, arrogant lady.

When I finally picked up my BluePrint Cleanse from the front desk at my apartment building, it had been sitting out for several hours, as it had been delivered earlier in the day when I was still at work. Apparently you want to get these bad boys in the fridge ASAP since they’re not pasteurized and all, but I like to live on the edge, so whatever. When I opened the box, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the juices, having been well packaged in an insulated bag with reusable cool packs, were still very chilly. 

After I neurotically lined up each day’s worth of juice into 3 rows in the fridge, I took a picture and called it a night, anxiously awaiting the next morning’s juice!

The BPC people suggest you kick off the day with a mug of green tea or water with lemon. What the folks at BPC don’t seem to realize about me is that I give myself roughly 40 minutes in the morning to get ready for work, and every last second of that time is devoted to some ritualistic part of my morning grooming routine, meaning I have nary a moment to spare to heat up some tea or whatever, so instead, I just cracked open my first Green Juice and built it into my busy schedule of flat ironing my hair and curling my lashes.

Not too bad. Not too great either, but it’s green and there’s no sugar in it, so I feel virtuous already. 20 minutes later and I’m done with my first juice of the day!

I was surprised when I managed to get through the first hour and a half at work without feeling hungry. You see, in the couple days leading up to the cleanse, the BPC suggests you kinda wean yourself off of food, so I had pretty much only had soup and salad the day before and figured I’d be completely ravenous that morning.

Around 10, I cracked open my second juice of the day: PAM (pineapple apple mint) and immediately knew it would be my favorite. It’s really sweet (with absolutely no added sugar) and very refreshing, just like you figure juice would be. 

Having finished it in about 15 minutes, I was concerned again that I would be hungry quickly, but again, I managed to feel satiated until my next juice of the day at 1 PM—another green juice.

Dammit, green juice! Way to kill my post-PAM juice buzz. The green juice isn’t my favorite juice, but it is my least favorite juice. And I didn’t even have to try the other ones to know it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not gross. It’s like I said in my taste-test vlog: it tastes kinda like tomato juice without the tomato. Luckily it takes about 40 minutes to get through, so I stay pretty “full” through most of the afternoon.

By 4 PM, I’m ready for another juice. This time it’s the spicy lemonade. You’ve probably heard your mom talk about drinking something similar in the 70s, with the lemons and tons of cayenne and maple syrup? Yeah, that sounds like shit. This one isn’t so bad. It’s sweet because of the agave nectar, but has just a tiny kick from the cayenne. I’m really sensitive to spice and this didn’t bother me. I did feel like the acidity from the lemon juice dried out my throat though, so I accompanied this juice with a big glass of water, which btw, you should be doing throughout the day.

 

Now is a good time to talk about pee, I think. I was pretty concerned about the rainbow of colors I thought my pee would turn, but you’ll be happy to know that my pee merely got clearer and clearer throughout the day. I also didn’t have any major number 2 moments on day 1 either, another potential Bridesmaids-esque disaster I was anxious about.

So back to the juice. I got home from work around 6 and even though Kyle enjoyed a juicy pork chop in front of me for dinner, I was perfectly content with my second-to-last juice of the day, the CAB (carrot apple beet…and some ginger). This one I served in a glass over ice, ya know, to mix it up. I definitely enjoyed this juice, but it felt dense, so it took me about an hour to finish. And again, I think it’s important to remind you that I never once had a hunger pang and I had survived off only juice for nearly 24 hours.

Finally, I got to pop open the last and most anticipated juice of the day around 8: the Cashew milk, made with cashews, vanilla bean, cinnamon, and agave. It was exactly what I needed at the end of a long, but exciting day of juicing. I chugged it pretty quickly and was sad to see it end.

I repeated the same thing the next day and the day after that, which included taking one of the green juices to a showing of the new Bond movie and enjoying my red beet juice in absence of the wine that Kyle and some of our friends enjoyed at our apartment, and just like the first day, I never felt hungry. I mean it! That was probably my number one concern going into this, so don’t let that stop you if you feel the same way. All in, the 6 juices have just over 1,000 calories  and 20 grams of fat, and while I’m not saying that’s a sufficient number of calories for you, it is enough to not be starving for a few days.

{Another green juice, this time as a movie theatre snack!}

BPC says that if you really need to chew on something, a little cucumber or avocado are okay and I was fairly certain I’d need some before the end of the cleanse, but somehow, I made it without gnawing on anything!

{The very last juice of the cleanse. Obligatory engagement ring shot, too.}

By the end of day 1, I’d lost about 5 pounds. Yes, really.

By the end of day 3, I lost about 4 more pounds, so I lost close to 9 pounds in just three days. (I lost about 4 inches as well.) Vain attempt to lose weight in a short amount of time achieved!

Was a lot of it water weight? Yes, I’m sure it was, but I did keep it off for the entire week. Then I went to try on wedding dresses with my MoH and we went to brunch where I got a fried chicken benedict and then we got drunk, so I shot that to hell. BUT! If I hadn’t sabotaged myself and went right back to eating the way I normally do, I feel confident I could have not only maintained that weight loss, but lost even more weight. The juice cleanse was kinda like fast-forwarding your “diet” efforts three weeks, when you finally start to see results and feel good about the idea of keeping it up. Ya know, as opposed to eating really good for 3 days and realizing you haven’t already lost 20 pounds so what’s the use any way??? It’s like that.

Also of note, my stomach shrank considerably! Nearly every time I eat now, I only eat about half of what’s on my plate before I feel “stuffed” and stop eating. So yeah, maybe I’m not a super skinz as I was right at the end of the cleanse, but I do think there’s a longer term impact on how much you want to eat, and if your goal is weight loss, then that’s an important component.

In terms of how I felt, well, needless to say, when you debloat and take off a few El Bees, you do feel better. What I wasn’t expecting was the high energy levels. They say you can work out while juicing, but because I was certain the experience would be akin to getting a swift punch in the ovaries, I opted out of going to the gym for those three days, but dare I say, I might have kicked some serious ass at the gym on day three!

Because I’m not a doctor, despite the fact that my initials are M.D., I can’t make any claims that BPC actually has any medical impact on anything, but I can say that, in my experience, even though I have no medical ails, I did feel great! I also looked really good in my clothes all week, so there’s that too.

I absolutely will do another cleanse—it was just so much easier than I thought it’d be and the results seem very maintainable. In fact, I just signed up for another cleanse for after the holidays, when Kyle and I plan to do a “paleo” challenge for 6 weeks. I think this will be a fantastic way to kick it off, even if BPC doesn’t advocate eating meat right away. Whatever, I’ll figure it out.

I tried to get a promo code for y’all since I know many of you want to try the cleanse yourself and it’s hella expensive, but the folks at BPC never got back to me. But don’t begrudge them just yet, because they’re running their own promo right now through December 3^rd to take 20% off your order! It’s basically like getting the overnight shipping free, but hey, it’s something! Use codes “THANKSDRINKING” or “FBVIP” at checkout to getyour discount.
EDIT: Thanks to CupcakesOMG! Reader "when we wander" for sharing a 25% off promo code from People.com. Enter PEOPLECLEANSE at checkout for 25% off your order!!

ALSO, they have a point system so that you can earn points toward future BPC purchases. When you enter in the email address of a person that referred you, that person gets points too. When you get to 2,000 points, you get a free 3-day cleanse. So if anyone does sign up for a cleanse, enter in heraldmd AT gmail DOT com as the referral email address (that’s me) so I can get the points, because when I get to 2,000 points, I will do a giveaway for the juice cleanse.

See??? I’m not entirely pretentious and stupid!!!!

Who else has done the BPC? How did you feel about it? Were you as excited as me? Have you tried doing your own juicing at home? How’d that go??

An Army of Juices

Today, is a day that will live in infamy. It will be one that lives in the minds of our children, and our children’s children. For today is the day we have all been waiting for: Day 1 of my Blueprint Juice Cleanse.

No, literally, I’m waging war on my body. The enemy is…um, toxins, I think…and the only solution is nutrient-dense cold-pressed juice. From New York. Because, obviously.

Last night, my 3-day juice cleanse arrived in this box explaining “We Think, You Drink.” It came in this highly insulated box, along with a portable insulated cooler bag, perfect for toting your expensive, trendy juice to work. Not that I’m saying I did that. (I’m not saying it because I’m pretty sure it’s obvious that I did do that.)

For those of you unfamiliar with the Blueprint Cleanse, there are 3 levels of intensity. Since this is my first cleanse, I’m starting with Renovation. It’s comprised of 5 different juices designed to make you feel good and junk. I dunno, I’m not the one thinking here—didn’t you see the box??

This morning, I cracked open my first juice of the day—the green juice. In case you missed it, I’ve already tried the green juice and you canwatch the whole thing right here. 

Next, I enjoyed the PAM (pineapple, apple, mint) juice. It’s a fan favorite, and I can see why! It’s sweet and refreshing and I want another one!!!

…the spicy lemonade…

…the CAB (carrot, apple, beet)…

…and the cashew milk.

If you’d like to see how it’s going real-time, follow me on Instagram (I’m “cupcakesomg”), where I’ll be photo-documenting the whole experience for you through the weekend. And if you don’t really care that much, it’s cool. I’ll be back next week with a full review of our engagement celebratory dinner at the Inn at Little Washington!

Vlog: Blueprint Cleanse Taste Test

Remember that time I asked you whether I should do a juice cleanse? Well, I'm gonna do it, and to prepare, I tried a couple of the juices and I'm sharing my real-time reactions with you. Ya know, because I'm a giver.

How Crazy Would It Be To Do a Juice Cleanse?

{Blueprint Renovation Cleanse}

Remember a long time ago when Oprah lost a bunch of weight and then rolled out the pounds of fat she lost in a Radio Flyer wagon on her show and told the world the miracle of how she lost the weight by starving herself sticking to a liquid diet? Despite the fact that she gained all of it back basically the next day (since CLEARLY you can’t lose 67 pounds in a matter of weeks unless you’re on the Biggest Loser eating disordered), juice fasts have been popular ever since. I blame Gwyneth Paltrow. Bitch.

But just like running a marathon or watching a football game, doing a juice “cleanse” has never really appealed to me. I looked at it as a way to lose (water) weight fast to fit into an age-inappropriate dress for a high school reunion or something, which, I mean, let’s face it, wouldn't apply to me anyway since my body type is still that of a perky, hipless 16-year-old. SHUT UP, YES IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!

And then, during my Whole Foods ritual of defensive cart-pushing (you have to be on the lookout for distracted shoppers!), I spied a bottle of something delicious looking: Cashew milk with agave and vanilla bean. The label said “Blueprint” and had a pretty blue lid. I nearly put the bottle in my cart before rushing to beat the lady with the cart overflowing with frozen Amy’s meals and “Organic” potato chips before I realized the drink came with an $11 price tag! If I’m paying over $10 for a beverage, it better make me drunk or beautiful, or both, and as far as I could tell, it definitely wasn't going to make me drunk.

Despite the fact that I considered $11 superfluous for one beverage, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Curious, I took to the ol’ internet to see if anyone else had seen these pricey little drinks. And that’s when it all changed.

Blueprint is actually a NYC-based cold-pressed juice cleanse company. Like, all they do is make juices that are supposed to clean your system out (read: pee and poop) and give your digestive system a rest to re-energize the rest of your body, and even help you lose weight. An $11 juice that makes me beautiful?? Tell me more! They offer a few different cleanse systems that can be delivered right to your door for however long you want. So, if you want to do a mini-cleanse, pick the three day option. If you wanna do the Gwynnie “I’m Better Than You” cleanse, pick the 6 day option. And so on. They also started selling their juices through Whole Foods to make more money them more accessible to the masses, which is nice so you don’t have to pay the $40 overnight shipping.

{The Green Juice is the first juice of the day and is a nutrient-packed concoction
of romaine lettuce, celery, cucumber, apple, spinach, kale, parsley, and lemon. Sounds...terrible.}

In case you aren't catching on, this shit’s expensive! We’re talking nearly $200 for a three-day cleanse. Did you know you could just starve yourself for free??? But despite my better judgment, I’m intrigued. The juices actually sound good (pineapple, apple, mint? Um, delicious!) and I’m really curious about this whole giving your digestive system a rest thing. Would I actually feel more energized if my pipes were empty? Could I really reallocate that energy to something like working out or judging people?? 

For those of you about to say something asinine like “okay, but just make your own juices!” BLASPHEMY!!! No, but seriously, there’s like 6 cups of kale in just ONE of the 6 daily juices…and that’s only one of the ingredients. So, the grocery items needed to make each juice would clearly be no more cost effective than buying the pre-made cleanse. Right??

So, I’m curious Cupcult—should I do this cleanse? The few people I've spoken with that have done it already have nothing but great things to say (so far I've learned that they didn't feel hungry because they drank so much and that it doesn't make your pee turn weird colors), but I’m curious if any of you have ever done this or another cleanse. How did it go? What should I know before doing a cleanse? Did yours make your pee turn weird colors??? I’m very concerned about this. I need answers!!