SOME of the People Behind D.C.'s Cupcake Explosion

Like my dear, blonde, historic-preserving good friend Anna said...why wasn't I included in this?!

Because I know you care what I have to say on the matter, I do agree with the owner of Baked and Wired. It should go without saying I will never admit to there being such a thing as "too many cupcakes", but I too wonder if D.C. has the capacity to accommodate even more cupcake-only shops.

Cupcakes are like that Swedish acoustic solo artist who you discovered on your Jack Johnson Pandora station and isn't quite famous yet, but you know some day she probably will be. And when she finally does get called out on Twitter by some celebutard like Ashton Kutcher or one of her songs winds up on the Grey's Anatomy soundtrack, that's when you'll be all "oh, yeah, I've been listening to Ulriga since before she was cool", which, ya know, will really solidify your superiority. And then after an appearance on SNL and two number 1 singles in a row, she'll come out with a "new sound", whiter teeth, a quarterback boyfriend, and a couple singles featuring Missy Elliott or Lil' Wayne. But even though she looks cuter, and is thinner thanks to the impossible standards of beauty set forth by Hollywood, now her music sucks, but you can't get away from it 'cus they play it every 9th song during the Kane show in the mornings!!! And then suddenly she's winning Grammy's, making cameo appearances on Disney shows like iCarly, and signing Oprah's "no-phone zone" pledge, and you're thinking to yourself "WTF Ulriga...what happened?!"

So yeah, cupcakes are just like that. The last thing this economy needs is another trendy business concept with no sense of quality or value (remember oxygen bars? No? Oh that's right...cus they were stupid!). Having a quality cupcake shop (or bakery selling great cupcakes) in every neighborhood is one thing, but when every Tom, Dick, and Ulriga quit their publicist day job to open up another mediocre cupcake shop, that's when the quality starts to suffer. And THAT, my friends, is going to give cupcakes a bad name.

Next question.

Cupcake Munchies at Baked & Wired

I'd been wanting to try Baked and Wired for a long time. Well, I finally did right before the holidays. I know, I know...you're probably asking "Melissa, is this review even relevant anymore?!" To which, I say "who do YOU think YOU are?!! I'm the one with the blog and I do what I want!!"

Admittedly, the flavors may have changed in the past couple months, but the quality undoubtedly has. These are straight up, some of the MOST delicious cupcakes I've ever had.

The cupcakes are literally put on pedestals and encased in class jars!! It reminds me of the children's classic puppet movie,  The Hugga-Bunch, in which the Evil Queen's youngberry tree (her fountain of youth) was housed in a glass case. She could only get to the magical berries with a key, which ultimately she loses in the very glass case meant to protect her precious tree from children and their puppet friends.

Nevertheless, I look at these cupcakes very much in the same way that the Evil Queen in The Hugga Bunch looked at her berry tree--this is MY fountain of youth! I've caught myself more than once saying to strangers "Go ahead, feel free to compliment me!"and for no other reason than the fact that I know as much as I do about cupcakes.

But about Baked and Wired...yes, these beauties were absolutely phenomenal. I was accompanied on my journey by my friends Erica and Julia. The day we went, there was a small line, which didn't bother me, as it gave me time to review the selection on display:

Chocolate with Vanilla Buttercream

Peanut Butter Chocolate

Texas Chocolate Sheet Cake Cupcake

There were many others, but the people behind me in line were getting pretty pissed, so I had to make my selection and get on with my bad self. I went with the cupcake everyone told me I had to try: strawberry. 

I have a lot of respect for a well-executed strawberry cupcake. We all remember my failed attempt to make them. 

Do you see that real strawberry!?!

I was incredibly happy to find a real strawberry cupcake that was as pleasing to my eye as it was to my belly. The fresh strawberries were my second favorite part of the cupcake. My favorite part was the icing! It was sweet, but fruity, and there was a generous amount of it, but it wasn't all mounded in the middle--it was evenly distributed across the top, meaning I didn't have to unhinge my jaw to take a bite. The cake was pretty good, but it was a bit airy. 

Those chocolate cupcakes you see flanking the sides of my strawberry cupcake belonged to Erica and Julia.

Pretty sure this was a chocolate mint cupcake. It was RICH!! I love chocolate, but I can't do this. One bite was more than enough for me, but look at that frosting, shimmering in the overhead lighting. It's gorgeous. Julia and Erica have stronger chocolate palates than I, and even though they thought their cupcakes were delicious, they couldn't finish them either. (Editor's Note: I do have pictures of my friends enjoying their cupcakes, but I fear that if I post them, they will no longer be friends.)


Will I go back to Baked and Wired? Yes, yes, a resounding YES!!! Why wouldn't I return to my fountain of youth?! I really want to return when I feel more comfortable perusing my options and there aren't so many peasants in the mix. Plus, this isn't just a cupcakery, this is a full-on bakery!! Even if you don't like cupcakes, you probably like cookies, brownies, or pie!! And if you don't like any of those, then you're probably a robot. And nobody likes a robot. Nobody.

Exercise Your American Right to Vote...on Cupcakes!

I speak a lot about the greatness of this land we live in. Between our inalienable rights, our rich history of technological advancements, and the very artistes upon which all of this is possible, America is really all about freedom and self expression (and knocking everyone down who stands in your way).

And that's why voting is important. There's probably other reasons, but they're not as relevant/I needed to transition.

If you're a decent person who appreciates their rights to bear arms and plead the fifth, then it's really only fitting that you vote in NBC DC's Golden Local award for best cupcake.

Granted, your choices are between Baked and Wired and Georgetown Cupcake, but then again, isn't that the framework of most elections (two candidates that may not even be qualified enough to be in the running, but hey, you've gotta work with what you've got, kind of thing?). You know what I mean.

I've already voted, but I won't share my thoughts given my highly visible, strongly influential public persona.

You've got a week to vote, so there's plenty of time, but let's face it, you really wouldn't be a true American if you didn't wait until the last minute. Mark your calendar to vote next Wednesday!