What's in My Purse--Real People Edition

What you see before you is not a staged photo. These are the literal contents of my purse, as of last night. For the past several weeks, I had "clean out purse" on my to do list, making about as much progress on that one as "get car inspected" and "lose 10 pounds." So last night, as I was embarking on this challenge, I thought it would be fun to do that thing where people take the crap that they carry around in their so-called purse, take a picture of it, and then share it with unsuspecting readers. Although, unlike so many of those "What's in My Purse" blog posts where everything is nice and neat and nary a gum wrapper is in sight, I present to you what I'd like to think MOST ladies' purses look like:

These are the contents of a person with allergies, asthma, and combination skin (please see the half-used blue face blotter). It's imperative I carry around Kleenex with me at all times because I will, without a doubt, have a severe allergy attack if I don't. And also asthma. Do I throw away these used items? No. Is it gross? Yes. However, much like a boyscout, I pride myself on always being prepared, hence the half dozen band-aids, specifically reserved for the blisters any of my 5-inch heels will probably give me. And the matches, just in case I need to light a fire under someone's ass.

 Yep, there was indeed an unwrapped tampon in my purse. Not because I would have used it in this capacity, but again, in the hopes of being prepared, I once put a wrapped tampon in my purse. When I [obviously] didn't use it, it wiggled itself out of its wrapper and took up residence as that weird, awkward thing I shouldn't have probably shown to anyone. But that doesn't embarrass me half as much as the scrunchie. OMG, I promise it's only for tying my hair back in a low bun at night to sleep. It was the advice my hair colorist gave me...I swear!!!

Okay, so I think most ladies carry around some kind of lotion during the winter months, so this is okay, right?? Nothing fancy--just a rich, thick lotion to prevent my hands from turning into that of an 80-year-old. Those earrings in the corner are the ones I wore for Halloween this past year (yes, that's how long it's been since I've cleaned out my bag...longer, really). That thing stuck to the back of the one? An eyeball eraser. It was part of the decor at the Halloween party I went to, and when I lost the back of the earring, I remembered the ol' high school trick of using an eraser to replace the back of your earring. Works like a charm!

So anyway, that's the crap in my purse. Or should I say, the crap that WAS in my purse. Because now, it's free of trash, eyeball erasers, and unwrapped tampons. But check back with me in a few weeks. Who knows what kind of weird shit I'll have in there by then.

What weird crap is in your purse??