Monday, October 31, 2011

How to Win A Halloween Costume Contest




Step 1: Pick a costume that hasn't been done a bajillion times before but that's still socially relevant. 
I'm talking to you sexy nurse, sexy kitty cat, sexy police officer, and sexy generic slutty girl. Oh, and also Snooki...she likes pickles, we get it already!!! I chose Taralyn Eschberger from Toddlers & Tiaras fame. Oh, you've never heard of Taralyn specifically?? MY POINT EXACTLY!!!

Step 2: Become your costume.
Sure, I could have just slapped on some ruffle socks, fake eyelashes, a crown and called it a day, but that wouldn't make me a winner. That would make me a loser. And glitz pageant girls are WINNERS!!! I perfected my T-stance, my prissy walk, and most importantly, my "blow a kiss with one finger" face.
Step 3: Never break character.
When the bar announced that there was a costume contest, I expected to win, 'cus that's what winners do. That's what my mommy says! I never in a million years expected to NOT make the top 3! So when my name wasn't called for top 3, I did what any self-respecting toddler would do: I threw an epic hissy fit. It was both sincere and authentic. I stomped my feet, cried, and yelled for my mommy. And then I got added back into the contest.
And then I won. A hundred bucks to be exact.
Yes, in the words of Eden Wood, "I ROCKED THAT STAGE!!!!"

What did everyone else dress up as??? Did anyone else win a costume contest??

9 comments:

Michelle said...

Your costume is fabulous!!!!! Congrats on the win!!!!

Michelle @ The Vintage Apple

kelly @ paper doll theory said...

haha great costume! toddlers and tiaras is so addicting! it's horrible but i can't look away. lol

love
kelly


stop by paper doll theory and enter our giveaway :)
www.paperdolltheory.com

Meg O. said...

You are so freaking brilliant. Can I be more like you?

I love the pose with the stiff arms.... so freaking perfect. GAH!

I was lame and didn't dress up as anything :(

Annalilly said...

This is fantastic.

chanel said...

Didn't dress up and didn't win a costume for not dressing up either. You have a beautiful smile but I would expect a flipper....ha ha!

Kim {Yep, they are all mine} said...

You totally rocked that costume. And $100? Nice!

Lydia said...

Your posture is pageant perfect!

Lydia said...

Your posture is pageant perfect!

Anonymous said...

I don't know you and yet I still feel damned proud of you!! You go, girl!

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