Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Paleo Cheez-Its--JK, Just "Cheezey" Kale Chips

How many months ago were kale chips? Like, would you say...3 months? Maybe 6 months? Were kale chips SO 14 months ago? Look, I don't know. I can't keep up with these hippie food trends (yes I can) so excuse me if I'm approximately a year and a half behind the kale chip movement.
The truth is, kale chips are kind of the worst, #amirite? I tried making them once before and they were a soggy mess. Spoiler alert: I used oil which seems completely unnecessary now after trying this recipe.
 Also, kale chips are never really capable of satisfying that CHIP craving anyway, so in the end it's like, "UGH, why am I eating grass right now?"
But enough about disgusting vegetables--let's talk about these Cheezey Kale chips. I first tried something like these a few months ago when I was traipsing through Whole Foods with an empty stomach and a fresh paycheck in my bank account, so obviously I bought a $7 bag of 3 ounces of cheezey kale chips. They were AMAZING. I ate all two servings in one sitting.
Anyway, after shelling out probably $147 for these things over the past few months, I finally got brave enough to try making them myself, and guess what! They were almost as good. But still a pretty good substitute for when you want something that tastes like a Cheez-It but isn't, and doesn't run the price of a small goat in a third world country.

"Cheezey" Kale Chips
Makes about 4 servings
  • 2 bunches of kale
  • 1.5 cups raw unsalted cashews
  • 1/2 red bell pepper, stem and seeds removed and roughly chopped
  • 1 clove garlic
  • 2 Tbsp coconut aminos
  • 3 Tbsp olive oil
  • 1/2 cup nutritional yeast flakes
  • 1 lemon, peeled and de-seeded as much as possible
  • salt to taste
1. Soak cashews in water for at least an hour before starting.
2. Preheat your oven to it's lowest setting, about 180 or 200 degrees F. 
3. Drain cashews and set aside. Tear kale leaves off stems and into large chunks (they'll shrink as they bake).
4. Add cashews, bell pepper, garlic, coconut aminos, olive oil, nutritional yeast, lemon, and salt to a food processor. Puree until everything is really smooth. It will be thick.
5. In a large bowl, combine kale leaves with cheezey cashew paste--you'll have to use your fingers to "paint" the chips with the paste, so prepare to get messy, but get it evenly on the chips. This is the good stuff!
6. Lay kale chips flat on a baking sheet in one layer (don't pile them on top of each other). Bake in the oven for an hour, then flip them over. Bake until they're completely dry (about another hour).
7. Store in an airtight container!


klarisa said...

how long would these last?

elle queue said...

what are coconut aminos?

Jessica said...

These are really really good! The only change I had to make was that I had to cook them for about 2.5 hours at 200 degrees.

Elle queue: Coconut aminos is coconut sap with sea salt. I found mine in the Asian aisle of Whole Foods.

Jess said...

Firstly, I need to tell you have wonderful your blog is - I mean, I LOVE IT!!

Second, I too have been spending an inordinate amount of money on Trader Joe's brand kale chips (my husband and I eat our own bags {no shame}and have been wanting to make my own but never had the energy to figure it out on my own so THANK YOU!!

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