Zucchini Pasta "Alfredo"

I know this blog has been swimming, drowning even, in paleo recipes as of late, but grab yourself some floaties, because I have only begun to open the floodgates. That might be an overstatement, but you see what I'm getting at, right?

I'm constantly finding new recipes that keep me excited about my diet (I mean that in the "lifestyle" sense, not the "grapefruit juice and cayenne pepper cleanse" sense) and avoid diabetes-inducing temptations.

As I've said before, I still crave non-paleo things. Pasta is one of my biggest weaknesses. And this, coming from a girl with absolutely no weaknesses. I AM THE BEST AT EVERYTHING EVER!!! So when I dreamed up this recipe (yes, I do dream up new recipes in my sleep), I was pretty sure it would calm my fettuccine Alfredo cravings...even it was entirely green.

I know what you're thinking: "How the h-e-double-hockey-sticks could zucchini satisfy your fettuccine Alfredo cravings?!"

Right?? I thought the same thing, but interestingly, when you julienne it into "noodles" and cover it in sauce, you forget you're eating a vegetable and are damn well convinced you're eating pasta!

The "Alfredo sauce" is a simple concoction of (1) avocado, (1/4 cup) coconut milk, (1/2) shallot, (1 clove) garlic, salt, and pepper (to taste):

It works well as a pasta sauce, dip, and facial mask.

You can mix in anything you like with your zucchini noodles, but I went for broccoli (that I boiled along with the zucchini), chicken, and mushrooms (sauteed in coconut oil). I then tossed everything in the sauce, ate it, and gave myself a congratulatory pat on the back. And then I practiced model poses in the mirror for an hour. A girl's gotta have hobbies!

I'm not including a recipe because I basically told you how to make it above. Bottom line is, you'll need a way to julienne the zucchini. A floor length mirror to practice your model poses in is also recommended.