"DC Cupcakes" Only as Fake as Georgetown Itself

So TLC's "reality" show DC Cupcakes, featuring DC's very own Georgetown Cupcake, premiered last Friday, and to record numbers. Unfortunately, the show has left many of those viewers hungry for something a little more sweet and a little less...fake. Jezebel summed things up pretty well, saying "every single aspect of this show seems fake and forced, with the exception of the cupcakes themselves, which actually look pretty good, and would probably look better if they weren't surrounded by a pile of LIES." 

God, I wish I had written that.

I hate to admit it, but it's true. The show is sickeningly contrived and conscious of itself, but then again, isn't that true of Georgetown in general??!! I realize some of you haven't spent much time in the upper echelons of DC's preppiest neighborhood, so let me break it down for you with this graph:

I mean, it's Georgetown--everyone is fake and contrived!! What do you want?? 

So yeah, their Mom (aka Mommy) is pretty useless, their head baker Andres seems like kind of a prick, and the sisters are control freaks who can't help but look at the camera every few seconds, but so what? Who cares?! They're cupcake bakers, not actors. Save your expectations for the pros, y'all.

In case you missed it, here's a clip: