Save a Life, Eat a Cupcake!

I just came across an amazing statistic about the correlation between the number of cupcake shops a city has to its suicide rate. And wouldn't ya know it, the more cupcake shops a city has, the lower the suicide rate! Coincidence? I doubt it! Just thinking about cupcakes makes me a happier, less suicidal person. That is, assuming you don't have to wait in a 100-person deep line to get one.

And here's a graph that is assuredly very scientific in its analysis:

Photo via GraphJam

DC Cupcakes Gets Rewnewed for Second Season, Attracts Even Longer Wait Lines

Everyone's favorite cupcake-themed TLC reality show DC Cupcakes, starring Georgetown darlings Sophie LaMontagne and Katherine Kallinis, co-owner sisters of Georgetown Cupcake, has been picked up for a second season, which can only mean one thing: even longer lines at the shop than this one:

Photo via Shawn and Sara

Yes, it does wrap around the corner

Basically, TLC realized that 6 episodes does not a "season" make, so they're upping their order to a full dozen. (D'ya see what I did there, with that pun...srsly LOLz right now!!!!!)

So, there's still no word on exactly how many episodes "Season 2" will be comprised of, but I do hope the sisters get some acting lessons between now and then. That, or just document what I'm sure are plenty of real-life antics more worth watching than the over-rehearsed discussions of whether Mommy is competent enough to differentiate between butterscotch and mocha cupcakes (SPOILER ALERT: she's not).

I far prefer the moments when one of the sisters snaps and gets bitchy like this...now that's what I call good TV!

DC Cupcakes Continues Exhaustive PR Tour

According to Georgetown Cupcake's Facebook page, they'll be on The View next week. While the details are spotty (as in, no mention of air date or why they're on), they do have this picture with Whoopi:

Image via Georgetown Cupcake

Not only were they shmoozing with the star of "Eddie", but they promptly showed up online at ABC News, talking about everything from their own favorite Georgetown Cupcake flavors (Chocolate Hazelnut and Salted Caramel, thank you very much) to more controversial topics, like whether cupcakes are a fad. Sure, they may be overdoing it at this point, but let's face it: Sophie and Katherine are the new ambassadors of Cupcake Country. I'm planning to run for President in 2024...get your signs ready now!!

"DC Cupcakes" Only as Fake as Georgetown Itself

So TLC's "reality" show DC Cupcakes, featuring DC's very own Georgetown Cupcake, premiered last Friday, and to record numbers. Unfortunately, the show has left many of those viewers hungry for something a little more sweet and a little less...fake. Jezebel summed things up pretty well, saying "every single aspect of this show seems fake and forced, with the exception of the cupcakes themselves, which actually look pretty good, and would probably look better if they weren't surrounded by a pile of LIES." 

God, I wish I had written that.

I hate to admit it, but it's true. The show is sickeningly contrived and conscious of itself, but then again, isn't that true of Georgetown in general??!! I realize some of you haven't spent much time in the upper echelons of DC's preppiest neighborhood, so let me break it down for you with this graph:

I mean, it's Georgetown--everyone is fake and contrived!! What do you want?? 

So yeah, their Mom (aka Mommy) is pretty useless, their head baker Andres seems like kind of a prick, and the sisters are control freaks who can't help but look at the camera every few seconds, but so what? Who cares?! They're cupcake bakers, not actors. Save your expectations for the pros, y'all.

In case you missed it, here's a clip:

Another Day, Another PR Dollar Spent on DC Cupcakes

What are my favorite cupcake-based reality show darlings up to this time, you ask? Well, today you're in for a real treat, as you get to see Sophie and Katherine decorate cuppies for the Angel Rescue League. Instead of their usual cream cheese swirl and a floral fondant shape, they decide to use a grass-tip on their piping bag filled with green tinted icing. The top it with, what else? A dog-shaped fondant decoration.

I never claimed they were saving lives, people!!!! You gotta admit, though--this show looks super fun!!

Cupcake Recipe Link Time

No-bake Grasshopper Mint Oreo Cookie Cupcakes?!?! I'm in. jk-ing about the no bake part, btw, I just thought it sounded better ;)

The PR blitz for DC Cupcakes in in full effect, bitches! Now Sophie and Katherine are whoring themselves out sharing one of their favorite childhood recipes, Ice Cream Cone cupcakes, on YouTube. They're so effing cute. I hate them.

If you're making Ice Cream Cone cupcakes anyway, why not make some homemade hot fudge sauce to go with them??

Isn't, like, the something-year anniversary of Elvis' death coming up? Either way, you don't need a good excuse to make these vegetarian/vegan cupcakes in honor of the King's all-time favorite grilled peanut butter, banana, bacon sandwich. Do you think Elvis was preggers when he came up with that one?

Since we're on the topic of peanut butter, these Fluffer Nutter Cupcakes filled with Nutella looks absolutely, dare I say, bananas!!!!

If you're like me and currently punishing yourself by not eating life's pleasures, such as cheese, bread, and more importantly, sugar, maybe you could spend your weekend knitting this cupcake hat and mitten set instead. Maybe you also want to watch paint dry, but it's your call.

BREAKING NEWS: DC Cupcakes Teaser

The Washington Post just posted this teaser from local cupcakery Georgetown Cupcake's new 6-part series "DC Cupcakes", premiering this Friday at 10 PM EST on TLC:

I haven't said it in a while, but: O.M.G. This actually looks like it's going to be entertaining and, might I say, informative. Unless you've been on the run from U.S. and Bahamian authorities for the past two years, you are likely aware my dream is to open my own bakery some day. I feel like this show will be to me what 3 years of a $150,000 law school education is to my friend Chris: overall, a big waste of time, but necessary nonetheless. My DVR is already set.