How I Would Wear It: Prada Eyebrow Glasses

To quote Marilyn Monroe, "Men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses." However, when all you're trying to do is Man Repel, who gives a rat's ass what the opposite sex thinks?! That said, there's no one I want to befriend who CAN'T see the sense of humor and whimsy in these here spectacles. 

According to Darwinian theory, it's a wonder I've managed to survive this long, as I fall victim to several genetic weaknesses: allergies, an inability to tan, and poor vision. I don't even want to get into the ashtma!!! I can, however, fool everyone around me into thinking I'm healthier and fitter than I am by decorating myself with accessories that say, "I'm better than you, can't you tell?" THAT'S THE TICKET!!

Which brings me back to these Prada eyebrow glasses...I first spotted them over at The Beckerman Bite Plate, where they were lucky enough to find the sunglass version:

{Image via Beckerman Bite Plate. And also, awesomeness.} 

I love the John Waters-meets-Bettie Page look Samantha has curated here, but because Memorial Day is coming up and I'm DYING to lounge by the pool with a cute hairstyle and a pitcher of margs, I'm styling these shades for the likes of a pool/beach day.

In keeping with the vintage feel, I'm really drawn to high-waisted bikinis this year. 

I know, I know...I'm already repelling with the glasses, do I really wanna repel with the bikini too?? Well, frankly me dears, I don't give a fuck. 

I've always admired the retro glamour of the aforementioned Bettie Page, Marilyn Monroe, and Betty Grable. So yeah, even though women are using the ol' "high waisted bikinis are a great way to hide a tummy" schtick, there's still a lot of sex appeal to this style. Case in point:

{Diane Von Furstenburg Bikini}

Not so bad, eh?? There's both an exposed belly button and boob cleavage. Everybody wins!! Personally, I'm not one for throwing on a pair of elastic-waist shorts and a tee and calling it a cover-up. Besides, there simply aren't enough excuses to wear sheer, harem pant jumpsuits:

{ASOS jumpsuit} 

I like this because, like a tuxedo shirt, it says "I'm formal, but I'm here to party". Paired with a colorful flat sandal and matching hair turban (YES! I said hair turban...and?!?!), and your beach day of whimsy is complete. 

{Steve Madden sandal}

{ASOS turban. TURBANS FOR EVERYONE!!!!}

Who's the fittest now, Darwin?? YEAH! Suck it!!! 

Disclaimer: Like a fine ice cream sundae, no look is really complete until you've topped it with something extra sweet. I would likely wear a big earring or at MINIMUM a cocktail ring before stepping foot out my door, but ya know, it's your prerogative not to. Just take a page from Whitney Houston's book and do what feels right.

How I Would Wear It: Tulle Tail Dress

{UNIF dress, $88}

Welcome to a new regular segment I'll be doing called "How I Would Wear It." But then, you probably already knew that if you read the title. I spotted this dress on one of my favorite sites Nasty Gal and pretty much shat myself; it's THAT special.

Here's what I love about this dress, in order of importance:
- The illusion long sleeves
- The color
- The asymmetrical hemline
- The fact that it reminds me of a modern-day Glinda, the Good Witch (sans crown and wand)

Don't let anyone ever tell you redheads can't wear pink. Ever.

Anyway, I am officially in lurve with this dress, and although my boobs, stomach, and personality aren't as flat as the model, um, modelling it, I'm pretty sure the dress won't care, for it loves me back. And so, upon it, I must bestow great tidings of joy (i.e., accessories). My inspiration is of course the lovely Glinda, but imagined as if she were a 26-year-old blogger with fewer magical powers and more nail polish.

Like Glinda, let's start with the shoes. I likey the Jeffrey Campbell Lita's they've styled in the picture, but I lovey these Zara buckle wedges even more for a gentler, softer look:

{Zara Buttoned Wedge, $99}

With such a delicate shoe, we're now liberated from the over-accessorized-danger-zone (if you could even believe in such a zone). Because the sleeves are so sheer, and I'm going for a daytime look here, I'd swap an armful of bracelets for a few chunky cocktail rings with colorful stones and quirky details, all on the same hand. I figure these would all be equally excessive and dangerous:

1. Noir Triple Threat Ring, $92

2. Kenneth Jay Lane Purple Dome Ring, $87.35

3. House of Harlow Stack Coin Rings, $98

4. Roberto Cavalli Large Stone Ring, $390

Because I'm taking such a heavy hand (pun INTENDED!) on the rings, I'd go delicate with the necklace, but offset the rounded crew neck of the dress with a longer, lanyard-style pendant. This House of Harlow one is the perfect length and echoes the natural vibe of the stones those rings are giving us:

I never leave my apartment without a carryall of sort, so I think this Stella McCartney citrus clutch adds the perfect amount of sass to an otherwise very sweet look:

{Stella McCartney Cotton Clutch; you betta have some cashmoney, son}

So what have we learned from today's styling session, class? Well, first of all, no matter how demure an outfit might be, you should always start by whorin' it up and ripping out the front. 

Second, don't be afraid to wear multiple cocktail rings on one hand; they can be used as weapons of self-defense if someone every dare swipe your little dog! Er, Stella McCartney citrus clutch. 

Finally, and this is most important, if ever you need style inspiration, look no farther than your own front door, for you've always had the power. You've had it all along!

Color Block Party

Color blocking is not a fashion trend for the faint of heart. Wearing multiple shades of blue, orange, and red (at the same time) screams "LOOK AT ME DAMMIT!" But for an overcast day like today, it's the only way to remind yourself that indeed, it is spring.

{Bangles on the same wrist as my watch is, like, my new favorite thing}

While I am both bold in appearance and opinion, my wardrobe would suggest something else. Until recently, I've been guilty of buying black, grey, and nude clothing in excess. So when I spotted this uber-mod mini skirt at Zara this weekend. I simply could not restrain myself. I could also not restrain myself from pairing it with this watermelon pink top. Et voila! Insta-color blocking.

{I even color block with my patio furniture}

I could have added a sweater or scarf in a complementary green or blue, but I opted for a woven belt with gold (duh!) embellishment. When color blocking, it's important to keep the shoes neutral. I mean GOD, you're not trying to look like a clown. These Sam Edelman platforms are my favorite for the season. The extra 4 inches of height they add is sickening.

{Fashion credits: Zara top and skirt, Express belt, Michael Kors watch, Sam Edelman Novato pumps,
Forever 21 bangles, Cusp Scorpion Ring, Deborah Lippman nail polish in Happy Birthday}

The Opposite of the Thing That's Supposed to Happen

So, I wanted to kick of the weekend with a quick trip to a favorite store of mine to pick up a couple things for a sales conference I'm attending this week. You see, I had this coupon for half off my purchase and... good GOD, this is boring! Basically, I went to the mall for this one thing, didn't get it, and got something else entirely instead, okay?

What I got actually is exciting: NARS lip crayon in Bolero. 

It's very against type for me. Normally, my lip color of choice is something glossy with lots of shimmer that says "I want to look like a stripper, but only for 2 hours at a time...or until I eat something." Pretty standard. 

Maybe it was the disappointment of my shopping trip or the stale smell of mall people and their soft pretzels, but something about the idea of a matte coral/flamingo pink lip crayon really appealed to me. I simply had to have it, and now, I do.

I tried it out today and decided I have never made a better decision in my life.

{Just when I think i can't possibly get any better looking, I do.} 

Because I wanted the focus to be on my perfectly matte lip, I left my eyes fairly bare (yes, that's bare for me), applying only a light brown shadow to the crease with my finger and a thick, winged swipe of black liquid liner. And, of course, several coats of black mascara. 

I matched my cheeks to my lip, saturating the apples for a flushed effect. And finally, I applied a heavy dose of lip crayon to my exfoliated lip. Word to the wise: lip crayons are very unforgiving. Don't even try to use one if your lips are dry or cracked.

God, I give good face.

What Happens in Vegas Gets Documented Wildly

{The theme song for the weekend}

I was in Vegas last weekend for what I hope will become an annual GF trip with 3 of my best looking friends. Lord knows the only way to go on a vacay, to Vegas no less, is with good looking people. 

{We're literally so good looking it's SICKENING.}

Arden B. dress, vintage earrings, Michael Kors watch

Despite stuffing my face with endless frozen rum drinks, all-you-can-eat buffets, and more sushi than probably medically reasonable, I managed to make Vegas all about the tightest clothing I owned. And the make-up. And the hair. Namely, the hair flair, but that's a soon-to-come vlog post.

{Amazing sushi at Koi. And by sushi, I mean a shot of the rice...}

What I'm getting at is I was looking FRESH. It's pretty hard to stand out in Vegas, what with this kind of thing going on in the background:

But I still managed to garner several compliments for my Jeffrey Campbell Tick Wedges, as seen here...:

Thrifted H&M blazer, Christian Dior Sunglasses, Express purse and shorts, Jeffrey Campbell Tick Wedges

...my winning combination of absurdly long (read: fake) eyelashes and gold hair flair...:

...and of course, no self-respecting trip to Vegas would be complete without my Liza Minelli-style sequin shorts, OTK black suede boots and feather earrings (and more hair flair!!):

               

South Moon Under top, Express sequin shorts, Guess black suede OTK boots, Bebe feather earrings, H&M cocktail ring

The fact is, if you're not willing to go over-the-top in Vegas, you might as well stay home and keep your top on like everyone else. 

{The communal shoe-staging area}

Q & Bake: Flour Child Bakery

My obsession with cupcakes is possible because of/exacerbated by the internet. I mean, hello! Here you are, reading my blog solely dedicated to cupcakes, cupcake accessories, and looking good. 

But behind every good cupcake blog is a great baker. At least, that's how it should be!! So it's no surprise I quickly became obsessed with the nom-able creations Cassie was whipping up on the reg' over at How To Eat A Cupcake. The premise was to take ideas from readers for her next mind-blowing concoction; ideas like Mountain Dew cupcakes:

Photo via How To Eat A Cupcake

...or Apple and Cheddar:

 Photo via How to Eat A Cupcake

So when I learned Cassie was making her dream of owning her own bakery come true (at the grand ol' age of 24, no less) just a few hours away from me, I had to reach out to her with a few questions. 

How long have you been blogging about cupcakes? Since April 2007

When did you discover your passion for cupcakes? I was making Duncan Hines red velvet cupcakes, and I was having fun with my creative side. Then it's like a light bulb lit up inside my brain!

How do you come up with all the interesting cupcake combinations for your blog? I get a lot of inspiration from other cupcake bloggers, baking books, and magazines.

What's been the most surprisingly delicious of your cupcake concoctions? One time I made yellow cupcakes with cookie dough in the center and topped them with a cookie dough cream cheese frosting. Those were by far the best ever!

What's been the biggest disaster? For my birthday a few years ago, I tried making homemade funfetti cupcakes. Apparently I was using the wrong kind of sprinkles and too many of them because both batches exploded! 

What's your best tip for new cupcake bakers? Don't get frustrated when things don't come out right. Learn from your mistakes, and always laugh at yourself.

Tell me a little about opening your own bakery? How long did it take to develop from an idea to mortar and stone? Flour Child Bakery has been a brainchild of mine for almost 3 years. I'm opening this bakery with an amazing woman, my mom! In April, a location sort of fell into our laps. My family and I have been working non-stop to make my dream a reality. Our grand opening date is Saturday, October 2!

Cassie (right) and her mom outside of Flour Child Bakery
in Virginia Beach, opening October 2nd

I hear you're recently engaged. Congratulations! Will there be a cupcake wedding cake? Will you be making it?? There will not be a cupcake wedding. For 2 years I baked nothing but cupcakes. Then I worked in a cupcakery for 9 months. I'm burnt out on cupcakes! But my wedding cake will be made at my bakery, and I'm sure I'll have a fabulous decorator to make it beautiful!

What's your favorite cupcake flavor? Lately I've really been digging on red velvet!

What happens to all those cupcakes you bake for your blog? Do you give them away or do you end up eating them all? I try to bake small batches. My mom used to work at Pizza Hut, and she would give away all our leftovers to her co-workers.

What's your favorite cupcake shop currently? I don't have a fave cupcake shop, but my favorite bakery is Sugar Sweet Sunshine in New York City. Their pistachio cupcake is amazing!

What kinds of cupcakes will you be offering at your bakery? How much will they cost? We will offer regular size cupcakes, as well as mini and jumbo! Prices will range from $1.25 - $3.25.

If you had to convince someone to drive out from the DC area to come have one of your cupcakes, what would you say? Our cupcakes are handmade from scratch by people who are passionate about baking. You can practically taste the love! Plus, the atmosphere inside Flour Child Bakery is a little bit retro, a little bit modern, and we're friendly folks who love to chat!

**BTW, you can keep up with Flour Child Bakery on Facebook at http://facebook.com/flourchildbakery. Their grand opening is Saturday, October 2nd from 10:00 am - 6:00 pm. Regular hours will be Tuesday-Friday 8:00 am - 6:00 pm, Saturday 9:00 am - 4:00 pm, and closed on Sunday and Monday.

Flour Child Bakery

1716 Pleasure House Road, Suite 104

Virginia Beach, VA 23455