Thursday, January 24, 2013

Seafood Chowder and Life Goals

Like many double-X chromosome carriers, I played with Barbies as a child. In fact, I pretty much ONLY played with Barbies. The 300+ naked Barbies sitting in a box in my parents attic will attest to that. As an only child, I humored myself for hours and years on end by dressing them up in mini skirts and heels to go on dates with their effeminate boyfriend Ken (we're pretty sure he's gay now, right?). I looked to Barbie as a role model (um, doctor, lawyer, astronaut, rock star? Even Wal-Mart's Chinese factory workers don't plug as much overtime!) and style icon. And so, between my Texan upbringing where women believe "the higher the hair, the closer to God" and other extreme beauty regimens and my my idolization over a genetically impossible plastic doll, I grew into the vain, narcissistic beauty you see today. Which bring me to today's topic of life goals.

Last night, I told Kyle one of my life goals was to own an Hermes Brikin bag. If you're not familiar with them, first of all, they're upwards of $15,000 and made of the highest quality leather and craftsmanship and carried by the upper echelons of society (minus the Kardashians); and secondly, why the hell are you here??

The reality is I have many life goals, some perhaps even more admirable than that of owning a materialistic objet d'art: get married (nearly check), own a home, have children, learn how to ride a bike (maybe), see Italy, etc. But I still want a Birkin bag. 
You know those people who run marathons or do triathlons or whatever else kind of -thons and how to them, doing those -thons makes them feel a sense of accomplishment and like they just really achieved something? I think they were born with some kind of gene that I simply was not. Like, on absolutely NO planet, in any time/space continuum, do I ever have an interest in -thon-ing. To quote Taylor Swift, "Like, ever." It's a concept that makes as much sense to me as why Notre Dame continues to defend its lying and/or rapist football players. I just.don' I'm guessing the same people who have made it their life goal to complete some kind of -thon or Iron Man race thingy don't have "Birkin owner" on their life's goal list, so we're even: we just weren't meant to understand each other.
But if you still struggle to see why anyone in their right mind would spend $15,000+ on a bag (need I remind you it's not just any bag...Lisa Van Der Pump owns 20, you guys!!), think of it like this: a middle-aged man, in a financial position to do so, might buy a $80,000+ Porsche or Maserati to fulfill a lifelong childhood dream of driving a James Bond car. But the minute he drives it off the lot, it depreciates in value. Now, on the other hand, a gorgeous, hilarious red-headed woman might shell out $15,000 for a bag, but it will only become more and more valuable, so long as it's well cared for. Not to mention the delight her female heirs will squeal with upon the day they inherit said bag.
So basically, it's the gift that keeps giving. Who can say that about a marathon? No one, guys. No one.
Oh, and also, I made seafood chowder. It was real good. 

Paleo Seafood Chowder (*You can easily sub roasted chicken for the seafood in this dish for more of a "pot pie" flavor)
Makes 8-10 large servings

  • 3 Tbsp. ghee or olive oil
  • 1 large onion, diced
  • 3  cloves garlic, minced
  • 3 large carrots, diced
  • 1 slice bacon
  • 4 cups chicken or seafood stock
  • 1 can coconut milk
  • 1 Tbsp. fresh parsley, roughly chopped
  • 8 oz. wild caught salmon
  • 1 lb. white fish (I used Tilapia and Turbot)
  • 1 1/2 dozen shrimp
  • 2-3 Tbsp Arrowroot powder
  • 1 cup frozen peas
  • salt & pepper to taste
  • cauliflower mash made form 2 heads of cauliflower (recipe)
1. Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees F.
2. In a large pot, saute onion in butter over medium heat until translucent. Add garlic and cook for another minute, until fragrant.
3. Add carrots and bacon and cook until the fat renders out of the bacon and carrots soften. About 3 minutes.
4. Remove the slice of bacon. Add stock and coconut milk and whisk well to combine. Season with salt and pepper. Bring to a simmer for about 5 minutes.
5. Ladle about a half cup of broth in a small bowl; whisk in 2-3 Tbsp of arrowroot powder until smooth(this will help thicken the broth and avoid creating lumps). Add back to the pot.
6. Add parsley, fish, and peas and simmer for 2-3 minutes. (You want the fish slightly undercooked so it doesn't get tough in the oven.)
7. Pour the chowder into a 9x13 rectangle pan and gently spoon mashed cauliflower over the top. Smooth out the topping and place into the oven for about 10 minutes.
8. Turn on broiler and brown the cauliflower for another 2-5 minutes. Let stand for a few minutes before serving.


Megan | Freckled Italian said...

Um helloooo, you are FRIENDS with a half marathon-ing future Birkin owner! But as you know, I might just be one in a million!

Oh and also, that chowder looks good.

Laura Humphrey said...

haha 15K?!?! that was our down payment on a house!!! Wait...were those the purses we saw at the mall? The ones everyone just had to hold even though they were wired to the tables? Anyways that chowder looks deeelish. I will be making that once I have a friggin kitchen!

Anonymous said...

There is no question about it! This chowder (in chicken form instead of seafood) will be on the menu next week!


X Kenzie

Laura said...

That seafood chowder looks amazing! I just had to wipe drool off my face.

I showed my husband a picture of a pink Birkin and he asked how much it was (he should know by now to never ask) and when I told him, he almost dropped his beer. But that was the same week I bought my $900 LV Neverfull, so I was like "$900 doesn't seem like so much now, does it?"


Erin @ Currently Coveting said...

1. Your chowder looks amaze. 2. Lisa Vanderpump is my version of your barbie idol. 3. Now it makes a hell of a lot more sense that Taylor had to pony up two of those Hermes bags in addition to her ring in that lawsuit settlement..(obviously I watch way to much RHOBH).


Jenna | The Eighty Twenty said...

What does it say about me if neither of those are on my life goal list. WHERE DO I FALL? Ugh... but also, your writing never fails to make me laugh. If this blog was printed out and stapled together, it would be such a page turner with delicious food to boot.

Gayla said...

Hahahaha! As I read the text, hanging on every word, and scrolled down as each photo appeared, mouth watering, I was curious to read how you would finally tie the bag and the soup together. And then you didn't. LOL! I guess serving the soup in the bag would be out of the question. The soup looks delicious. I would eat that.

Julie @ Bound said...

Not really sure I trust people who "thon." Admire, yes. Understand, not even a little bit. (And of course, you can never let them get too near your Birkin...if they decide owning it is their new life goal, they'll be in Kansas before you turn around. Endurance!)

Anonymous said...

Once we saw a thing on Bravo where they were doing a "Birkin exchange" (it was that show about the designer clothes retail store?) and even my husband was like - hm, that seems like a good investment if it maintains or increases in value. I think you have a solid plan. Also like someone else said - if you get sued, maybe you can pay them off with your Birkin if you don't have cash.

Jamie said...

I might make one -thon goal... or maybe just The Color Run or Princess Run (since you can walk).

Anyway, I tried steaming cauliflower once and after 20 minutes it still wasn't soft enough, my husband started laughing, and I threw it all away. How do you cut the cauliflower before steaming? Is it just the florets and how much stem is in a floret? Do you use a colander? I have a sad little steaming basket :(

I found a video where a woman roasts the cauliflower so maybe I'll just do that before I hurt myself.

Catalina said...

Aah the Birkin. I'm still not there yet on my life goal list - still trying to acquire a Chanel. And I'm totally with you on the thons - will never do one, will never want to do one. Oh, and the chowder is totally pinned.

Jewels said...

My friends, not I, get motivated by a -thon that serves do-nut holes along the way. I'm not even motivated by do-nuts to get out of bed at 6 or 9 a.m. On a Sunday...that means I would have to remain sober on Saturday. A Birkin, or two, is on my absolute "have to achieve before I die" list.

Love your blog! Been a long time reader, just a pansy on commenting. :-)

Meg O. said...

I absolutely adore Birkin bags. I think my goal would be for someone to gift one to me. LOL.

And the chowder looks amazing.

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