Friday, November 2, 2012

The Best Shows on TV I Can't Tell if Anyone's Watching

I watch a lot of TV. Like, a lot. I don't watch it because I think it will make me a better person (that's what lying about volunteering is for) or because I think it will make me smarter (that's what using big words I don't know the definition of is for) or because I think it will make me prettier (that's what botox is for). I watch it for the right reasons, you guys: to be happier and more fulfilled.

There's a lot of people who think vegetating your ass on a comfortable seat for an inordinate amount of time whilst watching both scripted and unscripted shows and movies on the boob tube is a waste of time. To those people I say you're not watching the right stuff!

Part of my TV "obsession," which by the way, is like, such a derogatory word to describe something so pure and beautiful, but whatever, probably comes from my childhood ambition of one day being ON the TV. I was gonna be an actress, see! And I was gonna be the best actress there ever was, ya hear?! And so I had to study my craft, I tell ya! I DID I DID I DID!!!! (pounds fist on table, breaks into uncontrollable sobs) It also probably comes from the fact that I was an only child and wanted the "company" of the TV, but that's neither here nor there.

So like I said before, I watch a lot of TV. If there was a job where I could just watch TV all day and then write about my opinions of TV shows, and that job paid a million dollars and gave me access to endless of reruns of Petticoat Junction, Small Wonder, and Lost, we-he-heeeelllllll, I'd probably take it. Depending on the 401K plan, of course.

So, as I plopped my fat ass on the couch last night to enjoy a few of my DVR recordings from the week, I realized that these few hours (Yes, HOURS?!?! What?!) I spend in the evening catching up with my television friends is one of my greatest stress relievers. Did you know that high stress levels can literally take years off your life? YEARS!?!? I mean, I realize there are many ways to relieve stress, including massages and exercise, but massages are expensive and exercise, ya know, blows. Indeed, TV watching is one of the most cost effective and energy conserving ways to reduce your stress levels. I guess what I'm trying to say is, TV makes you live longer. BOOM! Facts!

Moreover, what I'm really trying to get at is there are some shows in particular that really put me at ease. That is, however, until I realize that very few people I know seem to be watching them with me. Suddenly, what was supposed to be a moment of calm in my storm of a day turns to worry, which causes wrinkles, hence the need for the botox! Therefore, I have to share a few of the shows I'm unsure are being as thoroughly enjoyed by others as they are by me so I don't have to go through the stress of enduring a premature series finale, waiting for a mid-season replacement that's probably 45% as good as the show it replaced that'll probably just get cancelled anyway, until ultimately just giving up and waiting for the next season of Dance Moms to return. In other words, here are the best shows on TV I can't tell if anyone's watching, as curated by me:

1. Happy Endings
I've been watching Happy Endings since its inception 2 years ago. I had no hope for it since it starred that chick from "The Girl Next Door", but I gave it a shot since it had that other girl from the Foux du FaFa episode of FOTC and that brunette girl from SNL who got fired after one season (I knew these things without having to Wikipedia them, btw), and it's probably one of my favorite shows right now. Well, it's a tie actually between this and Parks and Rec. Cain't NOBODY touch Leslie Knope, Donna, and Tom Haverford. Cain't NOBODY! Fun Fact: I found my Thierry Lasry sunglasses after seeing Happy Endings character Jane wearing them in one of the episodes! So anyway, the show's hilarious and because I'm having a hard time finding just one clip to convey how over the top hilarzballs it is, here's the first two minutes of last year's season premiere:

2. Suburgatory
Okay. So. We ALL thought this was gonna be a huge downgrade for Cheryl Hines as her post-Curb debut, but the joke was on us when we were introduced to the likes of Dalia Royce and the abs of Ryan Shay.

As far as I'm concerned, this is Must See TV.

3. The Mindy Project
If it's not obvious that I idolize Mindy Kaling, then I clearly haven't been neurotic enough. Love me, love me, LOVE MEEEEE!!!!! I guess what I'm trying to say is I was looking forward to the premier of The Mindy Project from the moment I heard Kelly Kapoor wouldn't be returning for this season of The Office. Sadly, the show was a mere three episodes in when they took a 2 week hiatus for some dumb reason like Presidential debates or something, I dunno. But it came back this week, and I'm pretty scared many people have already forgotten about it. We can't forget about it, you guys!!! For the love of all that is good and holy, it'd be like waking up from a quick doze watching Amelie and spilling red wine on yourself and thinking you'd been shot! the clip:

4. Drag Race All-Stars
This is the only cable show I'm featuring, thereby acknowledging that you all might not actually think you have access to the Logo channel, BUT did you know you could watch full episodes of Drag Race online? THERE!! Now you have no excuses to not know the meanings of "the T," "the House Down," "Sickening," "BAM!," or "The Library is Open." And how could you NOT be enchanted by two queens trying to Lip Sync...for their Liiiiiiiiiiiife?

The honest truth is there are many, many more shows that bring me pure, unblemished joy and I'm sure just as many that I'm not watching, but since I don't get paid millions of dollars to do this, I gotta go to bed. But before I do, I have to know--are any of you watching these shows??? Do you feel like they help you relax? What other shows are you watching? I bet I watch them too, but just let me know anyway in the comments!


Lotus Blossom Design said...

great picks! I LOVE Happy Endings and hooked on New Girl I always am laughing out loud when they show comes on xo

Meg O. said...

I gotta be honest, I was really disappointed in the Mindy Project. I don't know what it is... I guess they're trying too hard to be funny?? I really, really wanted to like it. I am going to keep watching it but I just haven't gotten into it.

Do you have Showtime? If so, you MUST watch Homeland. I promise you will not be disappointed!!!

Jenna | The Eighty Twenty said...

I love Happy Endings, and also "Up All Night" ... a must-see. I definitely gotta get into Mindy Project

whitney said...

so i watch 1-3.

but i haven't caught on to te drag queen show.

happy endings is my fave. but i added the new normal in there. that shit is hilarious. you would like it. promise.


Unknown said...

I toally 120% agree about tv in general! I have always been a huge tv watcher and I'll never apoligize, my mind is going so fast all day and if I don't melt it with some bad tv before bed I can't even sleep! What do ppl want me to do get addicted to sleeping pills!? No- I'm addicted to tv instead... I watch so many reality tv shows too... I don't watch any of these though

Unknown said...

I have also been watching Happy Endings from day one, and it is by FAR one of the best shows on TV right now, so I am there with you girlfriend. There are so many good shows on right now, I do not have enough time in the day to watch them all!

Erin @ Currently Coveting said...

Happy Endings is my favorite show on TV right now, Jane is the besttttttt! Mike and I are obsessed. Kinda mad they moved it from Wed to Tuesday though bc now it records at the same time as New Girl (I know, shes annoying but the guys are funny enough to keep me watching). I hate double recordings!


Cara said...

The Mindy Project and Happy Endings. Been watching Happy Endings now for a while and I really love it and just like to follow the characters now but OMG the Mindy project. She is so funny. I need to read her book.

Melissa {Persnickety Plates} said...

My current tie for favorite funny show is Happy Endings & New Girl. LOVE them.

For serious shows - Parenthood, Homeland, Dexter, Sons of Anarchy, Shameless. I watch a lot of tv.

I need to watch Suburgatory. I'm off to see if it's on Netflix/Hulu.

ambercheez said...

the Mindy Project is the best show on tv right now. One of her receptionist played a minion on GG for like forever. New Girl is cute too.

Jamie said...

I must say, I thought "Honey Boo Boo" would've made an appearance on this list.

I don't have cable (or any channels) so I'm behind in everything, but I LOVED the first season of Happy Endings. If you have BBC America, watch The Graham Norton Show: HY-sterical. I did catch the series premiere of Nashville-- REALLY GOOD.

Rachel said...

I LOVE Happy Endings. It reminds me of a modern-day Friends, except more risque and funnier.

Suzanne said...

Oh, girl...I hear ya. Pretty Little Liars. Do it.

Unknown said...


Dree said...

Love, love Happy Endings and Casey Wilson is literally the only reason I started watching it. I'm so glad I did! I'm beyond excited for The Mindy Project to be shown in Ireland. I must check out Suburgatory!

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