Thursday, June 2, 2011

How I Would Wear It: 7 For All Mankind Rachel Bellbottoms

I remember watching some story on 20/20 as a kid about how almost every currency bill in circulation is laced with trace amounts of cocaine from all the hands of drug addicts they've encountered. It got me wondering, what ELSE is on my money? In an effort to appease my OCD hand washing complex, I decided the best thing to do with my money was to get rid of it as fast as I got it. And thus, an addiction to shopping was born. 

As much as I love(d) dropping my hard-earned money on a fabulous pair of shoes or a dress so sick it will make you vomit, you might be surprised to know I still struggle with the concept of paying more than $100 for denim. In fact, it was only last year that I bought my first pair of designer jeans: Citizens of Humanity dark wash flare legs for around $170. (I can hear Kyle rolling his eyes in disgust already.) 

I don't wear jeans much anymore--my office only allows them on Friday and I refuse to cover my legs in the summer--so it seemed a bit extravagant. AND IF THERE'S ONE THING I'M NOT, IT'S EXTRAVAGANT!!!!!

But like I said, I did buy a pair last year that I've grown to love. The wash is perfectly dark blue and the flare is just enough without conjuring up images of Jan Brady. To make matters worse, they're actually really comfortable. So I bought them. I bought them hard and I bought them good. What complicated things, though, was the length. 

Are you under 5'8"? Have you ever tried on designer jeans?? Did you find yourself swimming in superfluous yards of fabric, wondering what kind of beanstalk GIANT these things were actually made for??? Did you consider having that surgery where they break your knees and make you 4 inches taller??? If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, welcome to the club, because that's the very thought process I went through as I tried on pair after pair of designer jeans. 

"You can get them hemmed at a tailor," suggested the TALL salesgirl. 

"Well, I would," I told the salesgirl, "but if I got them hemmed to fit my short, stubby body, then the leg would no longer be a flare, now would it?!"

After that she stopped being helpful; I'll never figure out why. 

ANYWAY, that's a really long-winded way of telling you how excited I was to find that perennial denim favorite, 7 For All Mankind, has started making it's Rachel Zoe-inspired Rachel Bellbottom in a petite. I've been lusting after these for a while with their great dark wash and fitted-through-the-knee giganto flared leg, and now I could actually wear them (with heels OR flats) and feel good about ridding myself of my drug money. 

Let's start with the shoe, since, after all, I've been confined to wearing jeans with heels most of my life, due to my aforementioned height deformity. Clearly the idea is to wear a flat, and though the idea of me in a flat seems almost sacrilege, I love this one by Sam Edelman:

They're a little bit Rock 'N Roll, a little bit dangerous weaponry. And since I won't be stepping on the bottom of my jeans, the back of the sandals can finally have their moment of glory.

To bring a punch of color to the look (it is summertime after all), I love this Zara top with the bold orange on the bottom:

As a petite gal, it's important to make sure passers-by know that you do, indeed, have a torso. I'm suffering from a mild obsession with leopard at the moment, and since I think orange and leopard are practically neutrals when paired together, chances are quite good that I'd tuck the front of the top into the jeans. This one is perfect for all of the above reasons:

With such a simple neckline, this look is crying out for a fabulous necklace. This one has just the right combination of color, making it perfect for a casual look like this, and just as easy to dress up with a slutty nighttime outfit:

With a statement necklace, belt, and shoes, you may feel as though I'd be done, but I'm not!!! For a touch of whimsy, I love these crab earrings by Betsey Johnson (and not just because they're my zodiac sign):

Speaking of zodiac signs, I got a birthday coming up. Mightn't these make a nice present, KYLE?!?!?!

I feel pretty good about this look and what it says to the world. 

"SUCK IT, TALL BITCHES," is what it's saying, by the way. 

Are there any other shorties with this designer denim problem? Have you figured out a way to remove the extra length without destroying the shape of the leg?? Do you plan on wearing those crab earrings and telling people "I got crabs!" like I do???


Unknown said...

I'm a cancer too and dying over those earrings!

Yasmin said...

Wow! I'm also a cancer! Those earings are so cute! The jeans are nice too, i love the flares!!!!


Jenna | The Eighty Twenty said...

So. I came home a bit intoxicated last night and was just staring at this post. I didn't read it, I just kept looking at the photos. Anyway.. we need to speak Paris soon. I leave on THURSDAY!

Meg O. said...

Love all of those choices, but DAMN, girl, looks like you could really kick someone with those sandals. I've loved the bell bottom / wide leg look but never thought it would look right on me (big butt & thighs, only about 5'5") but I have these J. Crew wide legs that are tapered at the knee and sort of flare out but not TOO much. AND I LOVE THEM. This is why you buy a nice pair of jeans instead of wasting your money at the tailor to throw off the whole silhouette!!!

potpie du monde said...

Amazing photos! Your blog is great!

CLPig said...
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