Let’s get one thing straight: I do not have OCD. I don’t
mean to sound like Todd Akin, but I’m not referring to legitimate OCD, where
you literally can’t enter a room without stepping in and out 37 times in a row.
I mean the kind that people use as an excuse for their superiority complex. I
know a lot of girls wear this diagnosis like a badge of honor; a kind of pledge
into a club of people who outwardly mock their odd rules of “no shoes in the
house” or the fact that they simply will NOT eat red meat because it’s not
clean (??? ) but secretly pat themselves on the back for, ya know, being better
at life than everyone else. These people are sick and should be shot on sight.
So, I do not have OCD. What I do have, however, is a completely random and inexplicable need to ORGANIZE ALL THE THINGS!! every now and then. Last weekend, it was my vanity.
I spend a lot of time here at my vanity, with my vanity. It’s
not exactly perfect—my “vanity” is actually a desk and a separate mirror
leaning against the wall, both from West Elm several years ago—but I’m a firm
believer that every owner of a biscuit should have one. The grooming process is
one that should be enjoyed and indulgent. However, the way I’d been keeping
things, it was less Disney princess and more hot tranny mess. I
have, I dunno, probably 3 dozen make up brushes, I’m suuuuuuuure a hundred
eyeshadows, and oodles of lipsticks, glosses, and crayons. So when the ORGANIZE
ALL THE THINGS!! mood struck, I gave in and did just that.
You should take absolutely ZERO advice from me on
organization, but in the interest of being an over-sharer, here’s how I
approached the whole thing.
I started by clearing everything off and out of the desk.
After giving it a good scrub, I put back all the items I actually wanted out
where I wanted them, and then planned everything else around it. So, my tray
went back first (it was a great Target find a few months back), followed by my
makeshift brush holders (recycled candle holders—they were expensive so I’m
getting my money’s worth!--and my great grandmother's depression glass), and my mirror.
That was basically all I wanted out, so then it became a
matter of organizing the roll-out drawer. I bought two new organizers in black
from Target that were apparently recalled, so I ended up snagging them for
$1.99.
I then divided all my make up into piles to figure out what to do with them: eye stuff; face stuff; lip stuff; trash. Once the piles were built, I frontloaded the organizers with the stuff I use most commonly, like powder, blush, and eyebrow stuff, because god knows I’m too lazy to pull it out all the way to see what’s lurking in the back!
I have no clue if I did a good job at this whole
organization thing, but I’ll tell you this right now: my closet is up next.
