Monday, September 9, 2013

Paleo Popcorn and Goobers (Pork Corn and Chocolate Cashews)

Can we all just be real for a minute and agree that one of the best parts of going to the movies is so you can get a giant bag of popcorn soaked in butter-flavored topping ('cus we all know there's absolutely zero real butter in that shit) and a box of candy and eat all of it in dark, where no one can see and judge you?!?! But if you're trying to eat paleo(ish), movie theatre snacks might are just another painful reminder that your health is of no concern. To anyone. Anywhere. But fret not, my friends, because I've come up with what I think is a pretty damn good alternative: Pork Corn and Chocolate-Covered Cashews!
I chose cashews instead of almonds because they're softer and therefore, more peanut-like, according to me, but you could just as easily swap out almonds or, hell, even walnuts, if you prefer!
 I really liked that the brand of pork rinds I bought were called "Hog Heaven." Vegetarians, avert your eyes!!!
I saw a 99% cacao chocolate at the grocery store which was literally just cacao beans and vanilla extract, so I bought it figuring it was more paleo than the 70% nearby. I was also pretty sure it would taste like dirt, and it did, which meant I ended up using more honey than I wanted to, so that's a decision you'll have to make for yourself. I mean, maybe you LIKE eating dirt!!
 Crunchy, buttery PorkCorn, right alongside...
 ...chocolate-covered cashews.
 It's like having popcorn and Goobers!!
All that's missing is the movie!! If only this were out already...

Pork Corn (Paleo Popcorn) and Chocolate-Covered Cashews
  • 1 bag of pork rinds
  • 2 Tbsp ghee, melted
  • 1 tsp. nutritional yeast (optional--this gives it a slightly cheesy flavor)
  • 1 bag raw, unsalted cashews, chilled for about 15 minutes
  • 2-3 ounces unsweetened dark chocolate
  • 1 Tbsp. coconut oil
  • 2-3 Tbsp. honey or maple syrup (optional)
1. Chop pork rinds into bite-sized pieces (about 2-3 pieces per rind, depending on size)
2. In a small bowl, combine ghee and nutritional yeast (if using) with a fork. 
3. To a large bowl, combine pork rind pieces and butter topping until well coated.
4. To make cashews, melt chocolate in the microwave in 10-15 second intervals. Be careful not to burn the chocolate and keep it away from any water, which can cause it to seize.
5. Combine melted chocolate with coconut oil and honey until you reach the desired sweetness. 
6. Remove cashews from the fridge (this will help the chocolate set up quicker). Toss nuts in chocolate until completely coated. Lay onto a foil-lined cookie sheet to set.
7. Enjoy in front of some kind of screen.

4 comments:

Stephanie said...

You had me pork rinds...omg I feel like the red neck of the year, but I love them! This looks SUPER delicious.

Jenna | je na sais quoi said...

Never had pork rinds - I feel like I've never even heard of them except from you. I love movie snacks, I eat them all before the movie starts. I'm a sicko.

Bre said...

This is amazing! I can't wait to try this!

Megan | Freckled Italian said...

So I love spicy pork rinds and hate regular ones, but I have a feeling that this will work for me. You're always such a little genius.

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