A couple weeks ago, I unsuccessfully tried out a new chocolate cupcake recipe. The plan was to take them to work for Valentine's Day. Well, the plan was RUINED. Long story short, don't make oil-based cupcakes. Ever. Unless you enjoy spending your evening prying charred cupcake batter off of your cupcake pan. And if you do, by God, please get a new hobby.
Anyway, it took me a couple of weeks to recover from the mental anguish of the last baking attempt, because let's face it, I'm perfect and never make any mistakes, but I finally did and I'm BACK y'all with these amazeballs lemon curd cupcakes.
{Lemon Sugar is so fragrant and integral to the success of this recipe}
Since I'm watching the Oscars (and live-Facebook-status-updating my thoughts on the fashion, I'll try to make this brief.
1.) I forgot to buy lemon curd, so I had to make my own using this recipe. I've decided I will never buy lemon curd again!!!!!!!!!
{Such good lemon curd, I needed to show you three pictures of it}
2.) I used this new cupcake recipe, added fresh vanilla bean to it and then topped it with a lemon cream cheese frosting.
3.) I spotted this (what I hope is edible) pearl aerosol spray and decided I had to have it:
{The pearl spray is pretty, but kinda hard to photograph. Here's my best attempt to capture its luster}
4.) And then I ate it and realized I am probably the best baker in the WORLDDDDDDDDDDD. You should definitely make this because the cake was so light and tender, the lemon curd so tart and sweet, and the frosting so creamy and sparkly.
Pretty much everyone in the country has been bitching about how miz the weather is wherever they are. And why wouldn't they?? It's colder than the shoulder Kyle from "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" gave to her own sister Kim all season long!
I figured if we're all gonna be trapped inside with people that annoy us, pets that we're allergic to, laundry we haven't done, and the harsh realities that Toddlers and Tiaras 5th season is coming to end, we might as well start to develop some new obsessions. I literally can not think of a more opportune time to become addicted to something. If you can, you're probably a meth addict. No judgment.*
Here are some of the obsessions I'm cultivating while I continue to not freeze my ass off.
*Actually, lots of judgment. Dear GOD, have you seen meth face???
It's not just for 12-year-old girls circa 1997; now everyone can add individual strands of glittery "flairs" to their hair. Okay, maybe not EVERYONE. This look is definitely a little despy for the over-35 crowd. And yes, Adrienne Maloof was wearing them the entire season of TRHOBH. Thank god I'm still young enough to pull this look off!! And beautiful, let's not forget very, very beautiful.
I'm going to Vegas with a few girlfriends next month and I will 100% be wearing these. I especially like that you can do them yourself without any special equipment and that they come out after a few days.
Okay, I realize Dexter has been on TV for like, a thousand years, but my schedule DVR is always jam packed with such choice programming as Glee, Barefoot Contessa, and RuPaul's Drag Race. I simply don't have enough time to get through every show that looks mildly appealing.
However, after reading how much Meg O. loves her some Dexter (like, literally, named-her-cat-after-the-guy obsessed), and Kyle figuring out that the Netflix he streams over Playstation has the first 3 seasons of Dexter, I figure this is the perfect time to add something new to my repertoire.
I just want everyone to know that I did something similar with "Lost" last summer. Like, legit, watched the entire series in 3 months, only AFTER the series came to an end. You may call it "behind the curve", I call it efficient. Me: 1, You: 0.
Anyway, we just got through the first two episodes and I'm already hooked. But let's face it, I like any show featuring a hot male lead and lots of food talk.
3. Planning out different recipes I want to try and then not actually doing it.
That looks so good, right?? Yeah, I know...it's one of the many recipes I've favorited on Foodgawker with the intention of aligning the stars juuuuuuuuuuuust so in an effort to not only make it, but make it perfectly, and, by the way, take pictures that will put ALL other pictures EVER to shame with my new camera in the most perfect natural sunlight, and, inevitably, be selected by the elusive and hard-to-please editors of Foodgawker, at which point my blog will eclipse the likes of Perez Hilton and The Huffington Post and ultimately take charge of all things "blog", because, ya know, it's my destiny and whatever.
Unfortunately, I just haven't had the time. 'Cus like, I'm too busy with obsession number two, y'all. JK, but I haven't been cooking as much in the last couple of months, which is a damn shame. This must end...today. Or maybe tomorrow. I 'unnno.
In what is likely to become my favorite movie all time, Bridesmaids is about to break the stereotype of female-led comedies. I don't exactly know what said stereotype is, but I'm pretty sure it's that women aren't as funny as dudes. I'm 98% certain this is a stereotype perpetuated by men...I'm leaving a 2% margin of error for the non-humanoid marketing mokeys over at Groupon (their sense of humor is questionable, to say the least).
So yeah, okay, this movie was directed by Judd Apatow (the dude that brought us 40-Year-Old Virgin and The Hangover), BUT it was also co-written by SNL's breakout talent of the 2000's, Kristen Wiig. And the fun doesn't stop there!! Throw in a dash of the improv genius of Wendi McLendon Covey, a sprinkle of Maya Rudolph's ridiculousness, and a generous dollop of Melissa McCarthy (Jenny McCarthy's cousin, nbd) and you've got a recipe for cinematic genius that will likely make you quite literally poop yourself from laughing too hard.
I've probably watched this preview (and all of the linked videos) about 84 different times, and ya know what? I laugh equally hard each time. Each and every time.
5. Pressuring my boyfriend to move in with me
I swear to god, it's not desperate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, what are you doing to keep yourself from dying a slow, miserable death of boredom in this icy cold weather?
While there's not much information yet (the website sucks and despite claiming they have a Facebook page, I can't find one), I am curious to know who's behind this whole thing...
SHOW YOUR FACE CUPCAKE BUGGY!!! Inquiring minds (a.k.a. me) want to know:
-Who are you?
-When will you be hitting the streets?
-What flavors will you offer?
-How much will each cupcake be?
Seriously, did you go to the website?? It's horrible. I half believe this is some kind of scam, but I suppose I could be wrong (editor's note: I'm never wrong). Keep up with the LIES them on their Twitter page for now. I'll keep you posted as I learn more...obvi.
I started a new job a couple of weeks ago. Have you started a new job recently? Gone to a new school? Moved somewhere?? If you have, you would know how difficult it can be to "fit in." Of course, when you have gorgeous red hair, a body for days, and an abundance of pink desk accessories, fitting in isn't necessarily an option. Nevertheless, I decided to do what any self-respecting person would do their first week on the job to make new friends: bribe them.
Not only would I bribe them, but I would also lay the groundwork for a major sugar rush, ensuring that not only would they now feel obligated to befriend me, but they would do so with the kind of uninhibited vigor matched only by the onset of a Pixie-stick-induced-diabetic shock of a Toddler in a Tiara.
So, I made cupcakes (Chocolate with Peanut Butter Buttercream) and the more inferior baked good, chocolate chip cookies. They were both a big hit. More importantly, I'm now the most popular girl in the office!*
{Delicious Batter}
{The finished product. Recipe below}
{Chocolate Chip Cookies}
{To make, buy a bag of milk chocolate Ghiradelli chocolate chips,
read the recipe on the back, do that, and don't f**k it up!}
*Actually, I'm still working on making office friends, but let's face it: I'm generally the most popular person when I enter a room anyway. Give it time, my friends. Give it time.
1. Preheat oven to 400 F. Line two cupcake tins. Set aside.
2. Using a mixer, cream butter and sugars on high speed until light in color and fluffy (about 4 minutes).
3. Sift remaining dry ingredients with a fork in a large bowl (i.e., get the lumps out). Set aside. Mix milk and vanilla extract in separate bowl. Set aside.
4. After butter and sugar mixture is whipped, add eggs, one at a time, incorporating each one before adding the next.
5. In alternating steps, add 1/3 of flour mixture to the butter mixture, then add 1/2 of milk and vanilla mixture. You will begin and end with flour, if you've done it correctly.
6. Using an ice cream scoop, fill liners 3/4 full. Put in oven and immediately drop temperature to 350 F (this is my trick for getting a pretty dome on top). Cook for about 20-25 minutes, depending on your oven, or until a toothpick comes out clean.
7. Allow to cool, then top with generous amounts of buttercream.
Peanut Butter Buttercream
2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
1 jar of peanut butter (I used a smooth Honey Nut one, but use whatever you like)
5-6 cups of powdered sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1/4 tsp. salt
1. Cream butter in a mixer until smooth and fluffy (a couple minutes on high in your mixer)
2. In 1/2 cup increments, add powdered sugar.
3. Once you've achieved the desired amount of sweetness, add peanut butter. I used the whole jar because I wanted it really peanut butter-y. Feel free to use less.
4. Finally, add the vanilla and salt. Continue to whip until very light and fluffy.
5. Top cooled cupcakes with your delicious buttercream!
