The Washington Ballet's "The Nutcracker" (and Why Dressing for the Theatre Matters)

{BCBG dress, H&M blazer, Sam Edelman heels, Michael Kors watch}

Because it's Christmastime and I'm classy and junk, Kyle and I went to The Washington Ballet's "The Nutcracker" last weekend. That's right people, I'm about to review a ballet--shit just got real.

First of all, take a moment to appreciate my adorable ensemble. In a slight "tip of my hat" to the ballerinas, my dress has just a peek of tulle at the bottom and I wore my hair high on my head. A bun would have been too literal, so I opted for a pony tail instead. 

And I looked amazing. The same can not be said of other people.

What happened to getting dressed for the theatre? Look, I think society has allowed us to come pret-tay far when it comes to looking like you've just given up nowadays compared to times long passed (i.e., flying, church, work), but I don't care who you are, yoga pants are NOT welcome at the theatre. <--Do you see the way I'm even spelling the word? You probably should dress up just to read it!

Did you pay more than $50 for a ticket? Did someone hand you a playbill? Is someone wearing a costume on a stage?? Do the words on the building outside include "theatre"??? "Then why the crap are you wearing yoga pants and sneakers??" I wanted to ask the woman who strolled in mere minutes before the show started.

I know some of you might try to run to her defense in your comfortable rubber-soled footwear, but I don't care what the excuse is: she came straight from work, she's gained/lost a few pounds and can't find anything that fits, etc. My answer to all of these things? Plan better! I don't care if she wears her comfy clothes to Target or some children's sports game or something else equally depressing. I do, however, care that she have respect for the only place that truly asks patrons to dress up a little. Shit, she could have just swapped the sneakers for a pair of heels--I mean, Iiiiiiiiiiii probably wouldn't have been fooled by the pants, but I'm sure plenty others would have been. The point I'm making is this: the ballerinas you see on the stage twirling and pas de deux-ing in their point shoes and emaciated dancer bodies are in no way "comfortable." Why should you be?

End rant.

As for the ballet itself, it was amazing. Initially, I was concerned with the sheer volume of children in the show. I've seen a couple renditions of The Nutcracker in my day, so I'm well aware there are several, and in some cases many, children in the production, but this just had a lot. The first half moved a bit slow, but the kids had pretty good direction to be cute and entertaining, despite their lack of dance experience. Finally, the Snow Queen came on and that's where things started to pick up.

{The lobby, complete with tulle-lined awnings and signed ballet slippers}

I've never personally taken ballet, but I have seen Black Swan, so I'm pretty sure that makes me an expert on technique. That said, the dancing was beautiful. The choreography was also quite different, with what felt like fewer solo numbers and more giggle-worthy moments, but clean and graceful nevertheless.

Perhaps the most unusual part of the entire ballet was the extremely erotic rendition of the Arabian Dance. Usually, these dancers look like Aladdin and Jasmin, but these looked more like Pochohantas and Tarzan. And good god, was it sexual! I didn't mind, but I'm guessing a few parents in the audience might have had to explain to their kids where babies come from following the performance.

So yeah, the choreography and the dancers were beautiful, the sets were gorgeous, and the interpretation was new and fresh. Even Kyle enjoyed himself, albeit only into the second act. And mostly because of the kids dressed as mice and frogs and other woodland creatures sitting on the side of the stage being silly. But hey, at least he wasn't wearing yoga pants!