Racist Cupcakes Foreshadow the Rise of the KakeKakeKake

Last week, boxed-cake-mix-maker Duncan Hines was forced to pull its latest marketing gimmick from the airwaves after a public outcry labeling Duncan Hines as "racist."

Entitled "Hip Hop Cupcakes", the commercial features unfrosted (presumably preservative-laden Duncan Hines) vanilla cupcakes, seemingly coming to life as a headless actress drizzles even more preservative-laden chocolate sauce atop the cupcakes, who then sprout cartoon eyes and lips, and begin to "sing" probably the best hip-hop music I've ever heard in my life.

Let's get one thing straight: I hate racists and racism. Other things I hate: Glee hiatuses, red peppers, and buying shoes at full price only to see them go on sale the next day.

Now that I've solidified my politically correctness, let's get real here--the hip-hop that Duncan Hines speaks of sounds more like the musical ramblings of a 14-year-old who just tinkered around with Garage Band for the first time. I try not to listen to any music that doesn't sound like it'd be the color pink, but I'm still pretty sure hip-hop is owned by the likes of Jay-Z and CB4. I mean, honestly, this "rap" isn't even half as edgy as the kind of songs performed on "The Sing Off".

And yet somehow, people are PISSED!!! It's reminiscent to a large population of people with way too much time on their hands and not enough real problems to worry about of the actual racist practice of black face. Add in the idea of 'hip-hop' and clearly you have a whole new clan of racism forming--the KakeKakeKake.

Look, the real problem here is two-fold: Duncan Hines is horseshit and their ad team is clearly a group of third-graders who have a thing for Chipmunk voices and cartoons. I guess when you think of it like that, it's actually quite a sophisticated ad campaign.