Greece Honeymoon Part I: Food

...and that is the last picture of anything purely Paleo you'll see for the rest of this post.

I can't go anywhere new without prioritizing the food I will eat. When Kyle told me we were going to Rhode Island for his our nephew's christening next month, I was all "can we eat at Siena?!?!" Like Miley Cyrus and the thong gently yet constantly rising up her ass crack, my apetite can't be stopped. And while I have many, many pictures from our honeymoon in Santorini (which I'll be sharing with you in aptly themed posts across this week), I saw no more appropriate way to kick off this walk down memory lane than with all the food we ate.

It started off pretty innocently. When we checked into our hotel, we were greeted with a great fruit plate that included these monstrous grapes (cork for size, although now that I'm seeing it in photos, I realize that doesn't help):

 ...and champagne because ya know, we're newlyweds!

We also scored a bottle of this fancy cinnamon flavored liquer from the GM:

And then we went to sleep 'cus we spent 20 hours travelling, y'all.

The next day, all bets were off. As we strolled to lunch, we passed what I can only assume is the Greek version of a hot dog vendor, but instead of boiled mystery meat and stale buns, this cart was loaded with delightful looking pastries!

Even the man working the cart was delightful--it was his idea to pose for this picture!

See?? Delightful! But as much as I wanted to eat about 6 of these things, I never did try one. Guess we have to go back to Greece, KYLE!

CHEESE

Well you guys, I love cheese, and I don't care who knows it anyway! I ate lots and lots of cheese in Greece. Mostly feta, but also Haloumi, goat cheese, and Gruyere too. Here's the greatest hits of the cheese I ate in Athens and Santorini.

Fried goat cheese balls mixed with peppers and kalamata olives, topped with a pomegranate sauce and chopped pistachios. 

Greek salad with huge wedges of fresh feta cheese (Fun Fact: Greek salad actually doesn't come with any lettuce. Apparently that's just what Americans do 'cus we're dumb.).

Wedges of gruyere encrusted in sesame seeds and drizzled with balsamic and local Greek honey.

Winner: Greek salad with Feta. 
I mean, come on--ALL the cheese was delicious (especially that Gruyere thing...omggggggggg), but we ate so much feta and all of it was fantastic and creamy. I tried to make a Greek salad at home the other day using the most expensive feta I could find at Whole Foods and I wanted to vomit. So basically, never eat feta anywhere but Greece.

SEAFOOD

Santorini is a Greek island, did you know that?? So I basked in the bounty from the Aegean Sea and consumed loads of seafood. Because DELICIOUS!!!

Calamari rings in some kind of sweet and delicious Asian sauce.

Seared tuna with sauteed grape leaves.

Squid with a light tomato broth and basil olive oil.

Um...catch of the day? Whole fish.

Squid and octopus with a saffron foam.

Winner: Tie--calamari with Asian dressing and whole fish (mystery catch of the day)
The calamari was the first seafood we had and even though is was dressed in non-traditional Greek sauce, it was SILLY fresh!! Not the least bit chewy and very meaty. The whole fish wins too because the restaurant where we enjoyed it was owned by a young couple from Quebec (owner Panos is Greek) and we told them simply, "feed us" and every course they brought out was better than the next.

PASTA--YES I ATE PASTA!!!

I had no idea Greece was such a pasta town, but I was totally game for finding out why. All the pasta I had was handmade and unassumingly light. And whatever, I don't have to defend myself. Pasta is delicious!

Spaghetti with shrimp and feta.

Whole wheat pasta with local seafood (scallops, mussels, squid, shrimp)

Taglietelle with fish in a light tomato sauce.

This was actually Kyle's lunch, but I nabbed a few bites.

Pastitsio (basically a Greek lasagna made with bechemel sauce and ground beef over noodles).

Winner: Everyone. Because that's what happens with pasta.

DIPS

The Greeks really love their dips. And so do I. 

This great balsamic/olive oil combo vessel.

Fava bean dip (Bonus Fact: not once did I see hummus on the menu, so either we were in the wrong part of Greece or the Greeks just ain't got time for that. What we DID see, however, was fava bean dip on just about every menu.)

Tzatziki

Goat cheese dip.

Winner: Tzatziki.

One of my "must-eats" was Greek tzatziki and it did not disappoint. Greek yogurt in Greece is just so meta, man. Plus it's as thick as the DC humidity, so it holds up real nice to...

BREAD--YES, IT HAPPENED!

So, bread. I mean, we ate dip...what do you expect? There's no "winner" to be had here, because that'd just be wrong. Just enjoy the bounty.

MEAT

As I said earlier, I ate mainly seafood on our trip, but I did venture out and have some delicious lamb one night when we dined al fresco (BONUS Bonus Fact: all dining in Santorini is al fresco) and watched the sun set over the water.

DESSERT

We were in Greece for 8 days, yet you'll notice only 7 desserts here. I failed at Greece, you guys. :(

White Chocolate Mousse (served with meringue and strawberries).

Dessert case (I actually ate none of these things, but just wanted to capture its beauty).

Sesame seed treats from the same dessert case, which I also did not try.

 The bakery that the best baklava I've ever eaten came from...

...and the BEST BAKLAVA I'VE EVER EATEN!!! Srsly. Mean it.

Another pastry that came from the same bakery that was okay, but not nearly as delicious as BAKLAVA!!

Walnut cake.

My birthday chocolate milkshake enjoyed poolside and subsequently very bloated poolside.

Chocolate "souffle," which was actually just a lava cake. We ran into this translation issue at a couple restaurants.

Semolina cake topped with some kind of espuma (foam) and lemon curd and real gold leaf! 

Winner: Baklava.

Goes without saying.

I hope you didn't read this on an empty stomach. Ooooo, that would suck.

Come back tomorrow to check out the scenery (although this is all the scenery you need in my book).