Liquid Health (A.K.A. Vegetables for Busy F*cking People)

I'm a pretty fucking busy person. Between the full-time job, wedding planning, getting my roots touched up every 4 weeks, and recently being elected Pope, I have a lot going on, which means I don't often have time to squeeze in the preparation and/or eating of 8+ pounds of vegetables. This is why juicing is awesome.

Now, I don't have a proper juicer, but ever since I did the Blueprint Cleanse, I've been obsessed with getting one. Until then, my Vitamix makes a pretty decent substitute, though straining it is kind of a pain in the ass. It's struggles like these that build character a sense of entitlement.

I actually like this green juice better than BPC's. I think it's because I threw in some more green apple and lime, making it slightly sweeter and more refreshing tasting and less tomato juice-without-the-tomato tasting. If you're still not into it, add a little pineapple for extra sweetness/more deliciousness. It's probably good for you, I dunno.

Also nice about making your own juice at home? It's more cost effective. Of course, it took me about 45 minutes to make this (did you read that part about making it in my Vitamix and straining it??!) and given how effing busy I am, I figure the ROI on making my own juice is currently negative dollars, but if somebody wants to get me the juicer we registered for, I'm fairly to moderately certain I'll break even.

CupcakesOMG!'s Green Juice
Makes about 8 glasses of juice

• 2 cups kale
• 2 cups spinach
• 2 green apples, chopped
• 1 lime
• 1/2 inch of ginger (more/less if you like)
• 3 stalks celery, roughly chopped
• 1 cucumber, chopped into chunks
• water

Dump everything in the blender (or juice, you lucky S.O.B.) and fill about 3/4 full with water. Blend on high for as long as it takes to liquify everything (about 3 minutes). Using a nut milk bag or a mesh sieve, strain juice from pulp. Serve over ice and with a wedge of lime.