Thursday, January 3, 2013

New Year's Resolutions are Stupid, Paleo Breakfast Sausage is Awesome

I don't make resolutions. Mayyyynnnnn, fuck that shit. It seems like every blogger signed some kind of blogger bill touting this the "List All Your Un-Maintainable New Year's Resolutions On Your Blog" week. And I wasn't havin' none of it. Kinda like how the Senate finally got to business on the Fiscal Cliff issue and my girl Hillz was all "suck it you guys, I'm in the hospital!" (HUGE sigh of relief when she was able to leave yesterday, btw!) She's been telling them for weeks to get their act together. Ain't nobody got time for dat!
You know what I do do, though? I make food. You know what else I do? I think about losing weight. You know what ELSE I do? Sometimes, I even make food to help me lose weight.
With our wedding approaching quickly (we set a June date--I'll be sharing Save the Dates soon!), I have to get in the best shape of my life. LIFE I TELL YA! So, despite how much I loathe, and I mean loatheeeeeeeeeeeee, the word "paleo," it is how I'm eating to get in wedding shape. Specifically, strict or "real" "paleo." I use quotes to suggest these things allegedly, let's be clear. That means only meat, vegetables (except the obvious no-no's like corn and potatoes), nuts and seeds, and some fruit. I won't be allowing myself cheese or sour cream or honey or anything. It's gonna be the worst y'all. The absolute effing worst. But I'm gonna be so skinz and feel pretty good about myself, so it'll be worth it. The silver lining? Sausage.
I love sausage. Dare I say, I prefer it to bacon. It's true! But I don't buy sausage very often because it's usually loaded with all kinds of horrible preservatives, soy, gluten, and sugar. But it turns out, you can make your own, and not only is it super delicious, it's also incredibly simple to whip up. We're talking mere minutes!
I obviously chose to make it into patties, but you could just as easily toss it into eggs for an omelet or whatever you want. I don't know, man! I don't make the sausage rules!!
It should make sticking to your resolution to eat healthy and work out more last a good 8 minutes longer than it would otherwise.

Paleo Breakfast Sausage
Makes 11 patties

  • 1 lb. ground pork
  • 1 tsp. fennel
  • 1 tsp. paprika
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • 1/2 tsp. pepper
  • 1/2 tsp. sage
  • 1/4 tsp. garlic powder
  • 1/4 tsp. cayenne (optional)
In a medium bowl, combine pork and spices by hand until all the spices are well incorporated. Then, do whatever the hell with them. I used an ice scream scoop to portion out the meat and then smashed them a little bit to make patties. I then cooked them in a pan over medium heat until they were brown on both sides and cooked through (about 2 minutes per side). 


Laura Humphrey said...

That looks pretty effin delicous. I know I am like thinking about the whole New Years resolution thing and why even make a resolution? Just try to be healthy, workout and not over eat! It easy! Ha, who am I?! I totally made resolutions, but practical ones. I am choosing not to drink this month and try a different workout.:) Can't wait to see you Saturday!

Jenna | The Paleo Project said...

totally skinz. Can't wait to watch you float down the aisle... I DO hope this means we get to stuff our faces on June 23rd. Unless of course you'll be on your honeymoon already. Also, look at your little baby hands and those little sausage patties. What an adorable combo.

christin said...

i don't make resolutions, i tried to make a goal to stop losing my shit so much so i don't get my ass dumped. which i think is productive, no? and yes, i will be making this because i too need to be strict with this.

Laura said...

Those sausage patties look delicious!

The year before I got married, I worked out religiously for about 4 months (while working full time and going to school) and then I said "fuck this noise" and got a dress with a corset to make myself look skinnier. :)


Erin @ Currently Coveting said...

This looks surprisingly easy to do! will def need to give this a try. Pinning now. And by the way if I see one more "best of 2012" posts OR resolution posts I will quit the internet.

Currently Coveting

Gayla said...

Brilliant! Looks delicious! I would eat that!

Melissa {Persnickety Plates} said...

You got pretty hood in the first paragraph. I liked it.

Mo (New on U) said...

We are doing Paleo (like for realz) for our wedding too. Except we just started yesterday. And it's 30 days away. It seems both attainable and pointless at the same time. Anyway, I'll be trying this soon. I'm sharing a recipe that I converted to paleo tomorrow, except I'm scared that I'll be told it isn't really. Then I'd be sad because it was AMAZING.

kimmie said...

I've never thought of making my own sausage, only because i'm lazy and just buy the premade kind. I never realized how easy it was though! Will have to try out your recipe soon! :)

Good luck with the Paleo schtick. I tried it for a few months and it was great but I LOVE CARBS TOO MUCH. MMMMM BREAD.

Anonymous said...

Can't wait to try this recipe! I never even thought to make my own sausage patties, but hey we make burgers right? Just found your blog from Jenna and am excited to follow along!

X Kenzie

Jamie said...

Soooooo FUNNY story: I made ALMOST these exact things on Christmas except they were meatballs, I got the recipe from Practical Paleo (A-mazing book, btw), and they also required finely chopped celery, carrot, onion, and pecans. Pretty much the best things EVER. Making them into patties tonight, oddly enough.

I haven't converted to full Paleo yet but I plan on doing a 30 day challenge at the end of January. I kind of love it. In the few days I've been doing this so far, my acid reflux doesn't flare up!

Wait a sec... what are you going to do about the cake tasting?!?! And bridal showers?! Exceptions MUST be made.

Unknown said...

Just made these and they are SO DELICIOUS! I had to actually have one for lunch (they are for breakfast). Do you know where or how to find healthy ground pork? The ingredients listed for mine were very so-so, but Trader Joe's didn't have any. Where do you get yours?

Kier Mellour said...

I love to mix half pork with half beef and it's much healthier!!

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Terrimkhudson said...

Commercial sausage (like Jimmy Dean) is a shitstorm of chemicals. This looks easy and delicious. Thanks,

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