Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Things my 21-Year-Old Self Would Be Embarrassed to Know About My 28-Year-Old Self

A few weeks ago at book club, my friend Ashlee (of Craft Day fame) told us that there were only two things on her wish list at the time: a silver and gold Michael Kors chronograph watch and a label maker.* We were excited about the watch, but we were REALLY excited about the prospect of the label maker.

“What are you going to label first??” we wondered. She told us tales of how she wanted to organize her kitchen and make containers for her various flours, sugars, and other dried foods, which would, quite obviously, need to be labeled. Our minds wandered at the prospect of how a perfectly organized kitchen might make us better, smarter, prettier people. The label maker was obviously the gateway to perfection.

And then we realized how far we had truly sunk down the rabbit hole of adulthood. A mere 7 years ago, a label maker might have garnered the same level of excitement, but less because of the idea of home organization and more because you could label your drunken friend’s forehead with the word “penis” when they passed out at a party. 

{Britney is embarrassed for you}

While I don’t think the essence of people changes (like, if you were a dramatic, loud, vain child, you’ll probably be that way as an adult…not that I would have firsthand experience or anything), we certainly do grow. But it’s that growth that can make the younger version of you cringe and wonder “what the hell did you do to us???! We used to be cool, man!!” So with that, here are just a few things I’m pretty sure my 21-year-old self would be embarrassed to know about my 28-year-old self. (Leave me the things your younger self would be embarrassed to know about your older self in the comments!)

  • That I take pictures of basically everything I eat before taking a single bite.
  • That I get excited about things like: doing nothing on the weekend; waking up after a night of drinking (that ends by 9 pm) without a hangover; buying baby clothes for my friends having children; new fabric softener scents; Craft Day; Book Club
  • That I have a Pinterest board to plan my non-existent wedding ceremony.
  •  The fact that I’m on Pinterest.
  •  That I have defined a right and a wrong way to properly load the dishwasher.
  • That when guys try to hit on me, I throw them the face. (Actually, I think my 21-year-old self would think this is hilarious, but wouldn’t have had the courage to actually do it in college.)
  •  That I have live-tweeted my thoughts on Emmy/Oscar/Golden Globe red carpet fashions because I’m fairly certain people care what I have to say.
  • That I have gone to the grocery store without make up multiple times (this embarrasses me even now).
  • That I still don’t know how to ride a bike.
  • That I say things like “aren’t we too old to wear [crop tops/harem pants/leather pants/insert trend here]?”
  • That I have to use Urban Dictionary to look up words like “merk” and phrases like “long hair don’t care” to understand what the hell people are talking about.
  • That I will tell people I used Urban Dictionary to look up words like “merck” and phrases like “long hair don’t care.”
  • That I’m actually in charge of a group of people at work and enforce like, rules and stuff.
  • That I use the expression “when I was your age” more than I probably should.
  • That I blog.

*Ashlee did in fact get both the watch and the label maker. Because if you’re 28 or older, you were probably wondering.


RosaLovesDC said...

I still don't know how to ride a bike either!

Jenna | The Eighty Twenty said...

My younger self would be embarrassed that my current self has no idea how to flirt anymore, wears a bathrobe every morning and thinks a night of painting my nails and watching a movie, in bed by 9:30 is the greatest thing that ever happened. Also, that I go to the movies alone at least once a month.

Jeremy Edwards said...

Lmao!! I was really concerned about whether or not Ashlee got her items. Soo funny!

Emilee said...

I LOVE this post.

To my younger self:
- I sell software to people for a substantial amount of money... they trust me, sign contracts, and give me their money ... I know right?!
- Move marathons are prob one of my favorite things to do, all day, everyday
- I am no longer good at drinking unreasonable amounts of alcohol, at all (this should not be too surprising)
- I listen to books on CD for EVERY car trip, and its awesome, no judgement please

just to name a few...

Vicki said...

My younger self would be embarrassed that going out to dinner at 10 and getting home at midnight is considered staying out late for me now ... LOL.

P!nky said...

*I'm excited to buy a home and decorate it.
*I choose to stay in instead of going out.
*I look at 23 year olds and say "WTF are they doing"!
*I don't eat icecream everyday.
*I blog

happy weds!

Laura said...

I bake a lot, read a lot and still wear clothes from Forever 21.

Cara said...

I absolutely LOVE this post. It is so true. One day its boys and sneaking out and then its turning 21 and drinking yourself stupid and then its label makers. Great post!

Unknown said...

I am obsessed with my crockpot.

I would rather splurge on window treatments than a new outfit at the moment.

I would rather go on a river float and camping trip than head to NYC, AC, or Vegas.

I read adolescent book trilogies, and love them.

Gayla said...

Well, first, I thought I should be embarrassed that I didn't know what "long hairs don't care" meant...then I looked it up and now I am definitely embarrassed that I DO know what it means. Secondly, 21 year old me would be incredibly disappointed that I don't dance any more and even more disappointed that I even tell people I don't know how. 21 year old me would love my hair though, and it would probably make up for the dancing thing. And 21 year old me would love my daughter!

Unknown said...

Ok since I have always been 32 (even though I'm still not actually but I think it's my true life's age) not really a lot... And not only that, I had a label maker in high school - so I have always been a crafty dork, always gone to bed early, and liked it :)

I literally can't think of one thing, ok wait the fact that I'm not embarrassed is embarassing!

kbestshaw said...

That I have let a boy see me without makeup. Every. Day.

Blue Dog Belle said...

Love this. I think the fact that I am lusting over crock pots and often say I'm too old to do xyz, would embarrass my 21 year old self to no end.

xo, Emily

Carol W. said...

Fabulous post! Love that I'm not the only one who uses Urban Dictionary. My 21 year old self would hate that I'm still in college and love to learn, roll her eyes when she found out that when the hubby and I pull up to a party we already have our "it's time to go" safety word in place, and freak that blog, craft and love it!

Unknown said...

Hahaha I love this!!!

- I love to bake early in the morning while listening to Nicki Minaj's "Did it on em" but instead of the real lyrics I sing, " Siftin' on em" while sifting my flour and dancing ... Wow.
- I love my label maker more than anything!
- I spend more time on what I'm going to wear and make to book club/ craft day than I do on anything else.
-I'm obsessed with my apron and wear it as often as possible.
-I get excited when I learn a new way/use a new product to clean my house.
-Excited that I made it into your blog ( multiple times!) and sent the link to my mother and colleagues as soon as I saw it!

Rachel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Egg said...

the fact that i read blogs alone would have scared my 21 year old self.

xo the egg out west.

Megan | Freckled Italian said...

I love this so much. I would have loved to know the 21 year old you, but I like the you now very much!

Unknown said...

This list is great. I can totally relate. Now I'm reading instead of watching tv before bed. I don't even know how that happened. :)

Jamie said...

First-- I could totally see you 100% committing to "The Face" and also doing the velociraptor. Maybe both simultaneously.

My 21 year old self would be embarrassed that...

I spelled "velociraptor" correctly on the first try without Google or autocorrect.

I go far longer than a woman should without shaving her legs even though I'm married.

I make less money than when I was 21: $7.25 plus tips then, $0 plus bills now.

I actually want to go through pregnancy and have a few kids.

little b said...

I oftentimes look at what younger women wear to work and raise an eyebrow and think, "isn't that skirt just a bit too short for the office?"

Also that my idea of a good time now includes sweatpants, a bottle of wine, a wedge of brie and a night with my DVR!

Unknown said...

Fab post!



nancy @ adore to adorn said...

omg this post is awesome. I love it! I should totally write one for myself about me now to my 21-year-old-self. How far things have come, how things aren't as I imagined them to be...and that being my age now is not as scary as it seemed when I was 21. =)

Tala said...

hahaha but i think your 21yr old self would be proud of the 28 yr old self!!!!!! :)

Kristina said...

I'm exactly 28 soon to be 29..sigh. Anyway my 21 year old self would hang her head in shame I am home blogging and commenting on a Saturday night instead of out at da club. Ha PS found your blog and love your wittiness!

GlamGirlTiff said...

I'm so glad I found your blog! You are incredibly witty and you just inspired me to write a list like this for myself. I'm 29 :)

Stefanie Grace said...

This is hilarious! I think my 21yr old self would be a little confused byt the interest that I show in cushions, budgeting and food preparation. - I feel a post coming on! :)

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