Sofa King

This is a story about a couch.

This couch, matter of fact.

I dragged Kyle to a furniture store today that's going out of business and "liquidating" everything. As it happens, we're moving into our new place next month and the must-have item on our list of "Expensive Shit We Need to Spend Money We'd Rather Spend on Booze/Shoes" is, you guessed it, a couch. 

So, having successfully coerced Kyle to take his lunch break to browse for furniture, we spotted this amazing light grey sectional on their second floor. 

It meets Kyle's requirements of lounge-ability and seating, and mine of, well, the same requirements I have of everything: lookin' good. The price of $2,900, however, did not. Granted, it seemed like a steal compared to the original price of $4,600, but it was still far out of our price range. Not to mention, they only had the floor model to sell, meaning it had a few imperfections.

Of course, as two career sales people, we assume everything is negotiable, so we chatted with the sales guy who was stalking helping us, and asked him for a better price. He came down, but not by much. 

So, I did what any shopaholic worth her Jeffrey Campbell's would do: I asked who made the sofa and went back to my computer to shop for a better deal. And wouldn't ya know it? Even AFTER coming down on the liquidation price, they were still several hundred dollars over what every other retailer was selling it for NEW!!! Going out of business, eh? Couldn't possibly be because your mark-ups are out of effing control?!?!?! I love punctuation!!!!!!!!

So, after a quick chat with my mom to review its design elements and verifying its quality (this is my first couch purchase, after all), Kyle placed a call to our sales guy to see if they would make us a better deal. You know, what with being educated shoppers at this point. I found it pretty hilarious that in the same breath the guy touted their excellent customer service, he also told Kyle he would absolutely not budge on price and then hung up, probably to steal candy from a baby.

I'll be honest: I hate writing long blog posts and you hate reading long blog posts, so before you decide to never come back, let me just tell you how this whole thing is hashing out. 

We found another local store that will have a new couch made for us at the rate we found online. Meanwhile, a different person at the furniture store (presumably the owner) called Kyle this afternoon apologizing for the other salesman and promising that he would "talk to his people" and get back to us tomorrow. The man sounded either drunk or medicated, so jury's out on whether we'll ever hear back from him, or if he's even still alive, but I'm interested in what happens next. I mean, it's a floor model for God's sake!! Oh, and did I forget to mention? YOU'RE GOING OUT OF BUSINESS! Money is money. Any good whore will tell you that.

I love this couch. I want this couch. I would look AMAZING on this couch. And let's face it, Kyle looks pretty cute on this couch, too.