HIWWI: Sam Edelman Adena Loafers

{Sam Edelman Adena Loafer, $150}

Getting dressed in the morning should be an adventure. It shouldn't simply be a matter of "is this clean" or "does this make my butt look big." (The answers are respectively, no and yes.) It should stretch your limits of creativity, push you out of your comfort zone, and of course, end with a look so fierce, it would make Tyra Banks blush.

I don't mean to suggest getting dressed with your lights off, lest you relish in the idea of looking a daaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmn fool. What I mean is, sometimes you have to try new things. Take today's HIWWI feature item: Sam Edelman loafers.

I own very few flats, mostly because I have a superiority complex that survives off petty insults at others' expense and 4-inch platform heels. That said, I would gladly sport these embellished flats if for no other reason than the idea of being a security threat on an airplane.

Since I am 5'4", and wearing flats would further accentuate my genetic shortcoming (hi-yo!), the outfit paired with such a shallow heel would have to be able to compensate for the lack of height. Nothing says "fashion risk taker by day, man eater by night" quite like this shoulder cut-out plaid button-up:

{UNIF flannel cutout shirt, $78}

Let me just state for the record that most regular length jeans are not designed for gals under 5'8", so if you should deign wear a flat shoe with something denim, do yourself a favor and wear an ankle jean. Bonus points if you buy a LITERAL blue jean:

{J Brand skinny ankle jeans, $176}

It's taken me some time to warm up to the idea of a bucket bag, but I am having a full on lady boner from this nude, grommeted, $68 version:

{Holey Grommet bag, $68}

And what would a proper ensemble be without some fresh-ta-deth accessories? A complete and utter failure, that's what. I'm in love with everything about Mr. Kate's line, particularly this dreamcatcher lattice ring...:

{Mr. Kate ring, $79}

...and these "truly outrageous" Jem-inspired starburst earrings, and yes, they are both intentionally mismatched and intentionally awesome.

{Mr. Kate Starburst earrings, $52}

She may look hunched over and have no ankles, but shit she looks good!