HIWWI: Steve Madden Shazzam Platforms

{Steve Madden Shazzam Platforms, $149.95}

I don't mean to sound all 2006-y, but I'm pretty certain global warming is going to kill us. It's been so crotch-sweat inducing hot lately, that 95 degrees feels like a cold front. 

There are few things I hate more than being hot (including, but not limited to all of these things...so I guess it's not that few), so I'm constantly looking for ways to look chic and stay cool. Literally. Tomorrow, I'm going to my friend Leslie's cookout, and while I don't have enough time to go out and buy all of the items from this week's HIWWI, I would DEFINITELY wear these Steve Madden platforms. I'm obsessedicals. The challenge is to make them daytime and barbecue appropriate. And by challenge, I mean who the shit cares?!?!  

First of all, this romper:

{Motel Romper, $51.95}

Rompers are great for summer because they're typically lightweight and easy to dress up or down. This one is periwinkle and has a cute peek-a-boo back. 'Nuff said.

With such statement shoes and a colorful adult onesie, the jewelry should be minimal (she said before presenting a feathered bracelet):

{Adia Kibur bracelet, $48}

I think this bracelet is great for summer because feathers come from birds, and birds are part of nature, and nature is best enjoyed in the summer. Whew! Wasn't sure how I was gonna make that point, but I think I nailed it.

Oh, here's a simple pendant necklace:

{House of Harlow necklace, $80}

What's that arrow pointing to? Your belly filled with meat carcas and potato salad? Your sweet ass gold glitter platforms?? Or perhaps your naughty lady bits? Either way, it's gonna get people talking about/to you and that should be the ultimate goal of putting anything on your bod.

And finally, topping off any proper summer look, a fierce pair of sunnies. These do double-duty as shades and earrings...another summer item I'm obsessedicals with (go ahead, try using it in a sentence today)"

{House of Harlow Sasha Sunglasses, $115}

And in case you're terrible at visualizing the whole thing together, here: a fun collage for you!

What do you think? Did I properly de-tramp the heels or are they as stripper-pole worthy as ever?? What would YOU wear to a summer cookout?? More importantly, what would you eat??