Blueberry Peach Pie

I made pie this weekend. I made a very non-paleo pie, full of flour, butter, and sugar. I'm beginning to feel like a bit of a hussy, sending you mixed signals and all. The thing is, I was invited to my friend Leslie's cookout, and while I could have made a paleo dessert, I really wanted to show off my baking prowess. This pie did just that. So did I...'cus I told everyone, ya know.

In the spirit of an all too quickly passing summer, I made a blueberry peach pie.

 

Correction: I made a blueberry peach lattice pie.

With a homemade crust and hand-crimped edges, natch.

I'm sure some would say it was a work of art. Nevermind if I'm the only one saying it.

The only problem with this pie is that, even after sitting, it was still incredibly juicy. It had no effect on the taste, obvi, but it made serving more difficult, as you can see. Anyone have any ideas on how to get the juices to stand up a bit better? Don't look at this as a recipe disclaimer, just consider it an opportunity to eat pie with a spoon!

BTW, lattice crust is SO not hard to do! I found this tutorial excellent at demystifying the how-to.  

Blueberry Peach Pie (adapted from Martha Stewart)

Pie Crust:

• 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon sugar
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, chilled and cut into small pieces
• 1/4 to 1/2 cup ice water

In the bowl of a food processor, combine flour, salt, and sugar. Add butter, and process until the mixture resembles coarse meal, 8 to 10 seconds.

With machine running, add ice water (just the water, not the ice) in a slow, steady stream through feed tube. Pulse until dough holds together without being wet or sticky; be careful not to process more than 30 seconds. To test, squeeze a small amount together: If it is crumbly, add more ice water, 1 tablespoon at a time.

Divide dough into two equal balls. Flatten each ball into a disc and wrap in plastic. Transfer to the refrigerator and chill at least 1 hour. 

Filling:

• 5 peaches, peeled and sliced
• 3 cups blueberries
• 1 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup flour (perhaps more flour would help the juices thicken)
• juice of 1/2 lemon
• 1 egg, beaten

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. On a lightly floured surface, roll one disc of dough into a 12-inch round, 1/8-inch thick. Fit into a 9-inch pie plate. Set aside in the refrigerator.

In a large bowl, combine peaches, blueberries, sugar, flour, and lemon juice, toss to combine. Pour into pie plate, mounding in the center. Roll second disc of dough into a 12-inch round, 1/8 inch thick. Then either cut into strips for a lattice top and crimp edges, or leave whole and place on top and crimp edges. Cut a few vents on top. Place in refrigerator for 30 minutes.

Remove pie from refrigerator. Brush crust with egg wash, then sprinkle with sugar. Place on a parchment paper lined baking sheet to catch any potential overflow. Bake at 400 for 20 minutes, until crust is browned at edges. Turn oven down to 350, bake for another 40-50 minutes.

The Cupcake Lady

Never one to shy aware from self-promotion, allow me to introduce my new side venture, The Cupcake Lady!*

I'm a big believer in doing what makes you happiest, and frankly, baking cupcakes all the damn time would make me the happiest. However, I also believe that money CAN buy happiness, so until I can make an annual salary following my passion, I'm keeping my day job. 

That said, The Cupcake Lady is my foray into self-employment. It's a simple concept (I have no idea if it's simple, that's just a thing people say): I'm The Cupcake Lady. You hire me to come to your event (i.e., party, shower, graduation, etc.) and I'll bring all the goods for a hands-on baking lesson. I'll teach you and your guests how to bake and decorate cupcakes in any flavor you choose. At the end, everyone gets their own self-decorated cupcake and a recipe card to take home! Fun, right?? Yeah, I thought so, too.

If you're in the D.C. area and you'd like to hire The Cupcake Lady for an event, shoot an email to info@thecupcakeladydc.com. 

*HUGE thanks once again to Meg O. for the design of The Cupcake Lady site and all the branding that went along with it!

HIWWI: Steve Madden Shazzam Platforms

{Steve Madden Shazzam Platforms, $149.95}

I don't mean to sound all 2006-y, but I'm pretty certain global warming is going to kill us. It's been so crotch-sweat inducing hot lately, that 95 degrees feels like a cold front. 

There are few things I hate more than being hot (including, but not limited to all of these things...so I guess it's not that few), so I'm constantly looking for ways to look chic and stay cool. Literally. Tomorrow, I'm going to my friend Leslie's cookout, and while I don't have enough time to go out and buy all of the items from this week's HIWWI, I would DEFINITELY wear these Steve Madden platforms. I'm obsessedicals. The challenge is to make them daytime and barbecue appropriate. And by challenge, I mean who the shit cares?!?!  

First of all, this romper:

{Motel Romper, $51.95}

Rompers are great for summer because they're typically lightweight and easy to dress up or down. This one is periwinkle and has a cute peek-a-boo back. 'Nuff said.

With such statement shoes and a colorful adult onesie, the jewelry should be minimal (she said before presenting a feathered bracelet):

{Adia Kibur bracelet, $48}

I think this bracelet is great for summer because feathers come from birds, and birds are part of nature, and nature is best enjoyed in the summer. Whew! Wasn't sure how I was gonna make that point, but I think I nailed it.

Oh, here's a simple pendant necklace:

{House of Harlow necklace, $80}

What's that arrow pointing to? Your belly filled with meat carcas and potato salad? Your sweet ass gold glitter platforms?? Or perhaps your naughty lady bits? Either way, it's gonna get people talking about/to you and that should be the ultimate goal of putting anything on your bod.

And finally, topping off any proper summer look, a fierce pair of sunnies. These do double-duty as shades and earrings...another summer item I'm obsessedicals with (go ahead, try using it in a sentence today)"

{House of Harlow Sasha Sunglasses, $115}

And in case you're terrible at visualizing the whole thing together, here: a fun collage for you!

What do you think? Did I properly de-tramp the heels or are they as stripper-pole worthy as ever?? What would YOU wear to a summer cookout?? More importantly, what would you eat??

How to Keep A Whole30 Interesting

What you're looking at, ladies and...ladies, is lasagna. No, your eyes do not deceive you. There is no pasta, nor cheese in this entree. And while I would happily recommend you lick the screen for a sample, sadly, your tastebuds can not yet dispell your initial reaction to a pasta-less, cheese-less lasagna because your head will tell you it is implausible.

But alas! Nutritious and delicious paleo lasagna destiny CAN be yours. In fact, it SHOULD be yours. Recipes like this are what keeps the paleo lifestyle interesting. As much as I love when Kyle sears up a porkchop with just the right amount of seasoning, the whole meat and veg thing can become tedious. 

Enter Everyday Paleo. Sarah, the author of Everday Paleo is a mom, blogger, crossfit trainer, and avid paleo practitioner, which is all the qualification you need in my book (coming summer of 2000-never) for making creative paleo recipes. 

Now that I'm starting my third week of the Paleo Project's Whole30, I'm feeling great, but I'm looking for some variety to keep things interesting. When I saw this paleo lasagna (referred to as "Hasta La Pasta Lasagna"...still not sure how I feel about it), I thought it would be just the right ingredient to spice things up <-- eh?? See what I did there??? Metaphor. Journalism major, right HYA!

It starts with a flavorful layer of grass-fed beef, italian sausage, and a sprinkle of black olives (don't omit the olives! They make a huge impact on the flavor)...

...which is then topped with thinly sliced overlapping layers of zucchini, YES, zucchini as the pasta replacement! Brilliance.

That pattern is followed a couple more times until you end with a layer of meat and olives on top. Then you bake it for a little while...

...and voila! Paleo lasagna. Never boring. (Pretty sure I just stole that from Outback Steakhouse.)

This dish reheats like a dream too, so make plenty of it for leftovers.

Paleo Lasagna (adapted from Everyday Paleo)

• 1lb grass fed ground beef
• 1lb mild Italian sausage 
• 1 red onion, diced
• 2 cloves crushed garlic
• 2 tbsp dried oregano
• 2 tbsp dried basil
• 1/2 tsp sea salt
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1 28 ounce can of diced tomatoes drained
• 1 small can of tomato paste
• 1 cup organic black olives sliced
• 2-4 zucchinis thinly sliced (I only used 2 zucchinis because my pan was so small, but use 4 if you have a rectangle baking dish. Also, I used a knife to slice the zucchini cus I'm a boss, but if you had an attachment for your food processor or mandolin, use that)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large pan, saute onions and garlic in the olive oil for about 3 minutes. Add ground beef and sausage to brown. Season meat mixture with all dry ingredients; add drained diced tomatoes and tomato paste and mix well.  

In a baking dish, ladle a thick layer of the meat mixture and top with the sliced black olives. Top meat and olive layer with a layer of sliced zucchini. Repeat one or two more times, depending on how deep your dish is, ending with a final layer of the remaining meat mixture. Cover tightly with aluminum foil and bake for 30 minutes.  Let sit for 10 minutes before serving.

I Know a Good Idea When I See One

You've heard that expression "march to the beat of your own drummer," yes? Well, I feel like I embody everything about that cliche. Except for the marching and having my own drummer part. I mean, just look at me! Red hair (by choice thankyouverymuch), fair skin, and a face full of make up in D.C., where  many ladies think a swipe of mascara counts as whore make up. Sigh. 

But it's not just physical. Oh no, I've been doing my own thing from day one. Whether it was abstaining from the devil's juice until the age of 21 (true story--Google+ me for the story. haha, JK! Nobody's using Google+) or starting a magazine in college when everyone around me told me it was a bad idea (it's still there btw, 5 years after I graduated, nbd), I've always felt free to be me and pretty stubborn against peer pressure.

That said, sometimes you see something someone else does and you can't help but think to yourself, "Screw paving my own way! I'm following in these well-paved footsteps." And that's exactly what I did when I saw this manicure on Cupcakes and Cashmere. 

It pretty much begins and ends with this Martha Stewart glitter. I mean, it's pretty and sparkly. I'm fairly certain that's the recipe for curing anything that ails you.

Essentially, the manicure is a simple one. Start by applying two coats of the nail lacquer of your choice. In this case, I (and Emily) used Essie's Mint Candy Apple. Then, pour a small amount of glitter, also of your choice (Emily and I used Martha Stewart's Aquamarine loose glitter. You can find it at Michael's.), into a small vessel. I used the cap. I'm resourceful.

Once your nail color has dried, apply a layer of top coat to the top half of your nail. Like Emily, I chose the ring finger.

Then, dip a small brush--I used a make up brush I never used--into your glitter and lightly tap it onto the wet top coat.

Apply a top coat to the rest of your nails and voila! Copycat-worthy nails!

I wouldn't blame you at all for copying me.

HIWWI: Alice + Olivia High Waist Wide Leg Pants

{Alice + Olivia wide leg pants, $198}

I have this fantasy that I'm a powerful business woman, a la Melanie Griffith in Working Girl, post-any scene featuring this hair:

In reality, I'm just a powerful woman. Fierce, yes. Professional? Debatable. Nevertheless, I must act the part when I show up on site for a client. As I was packing for my latest trip, I suddenly realized my closet lacks the item now atop my list of "Must Have Right This Second or I Will Scream!!!!!" Colorful, wide-leg pants, exactly like the above Alice + Olivia.

Of course, seeing as it's business time, I can't just stop at the pants. Indeed, I must complete the look. I finally decided to get with the times and use Polyvore to wrangle up the total look I've compiled:

As you can see, I'm going for serious business here!! The ASOS Pussybow Blouse ($51.60) is prim, without being too proper.

I like the skinny brown Diane von Furstenberg belt ($145) for contrast against the wide leg pants. Plus it goes incredibly well with the schoolboy style satchel by ModCloth ($135). And what could be more apropos for yours truly than a pink leatherbound notebook with the letters "OMG" inscribed on the front ($80) for taking notes?? Nothing, that's what.

When you're on site with a client, it's best to keep the jewelry simple. That does not mean, however, that you should sacrifice your style to the corporate devil. This tortoise and gold Michael Kors watch ($150) is elegant and understated and the rose gold DANNIJO ring ($84) is modern without being excessive. Although a necklace might be "too much" for some working stiffs, drop earrings are a great alternative. These teardrop red Kenneth Jay Lane earrings ($120) will undoubtedly inspire confidence from your clients that you are tasteful, but do not take shit from anyone.

Last, but not least, an amazing pair of closed-toe platform pumps. This suede pair by Steven ($150) just straight gives me a lady boner. Does it you also?

Fake Asked Questions (FAQ)

I'm important!! It's true, because I blog. And clearly, only people of the utmost importance blog. This is evident because many bloggers feel inclined to include a lengthy FAQ section on their blog. Nevermind if they only have 30 readers. Nope. Those 30 people hassle these poor, innocent, important bloggers to the breaking point so much so that they actually HAVE to put an FAQ section on their blog. Ya know, because the 17th time you have to answer the question "What size shoe do you wear?" you just about want to gouge your eyes out with your freshly manicured (it's Essie's Mint Candy Apple, btw) fingernails.

I have no FAQ section because, let's face it, none of you have any questions for me. Well, except for the occasional "what is WRONG with you?" but that requires a far lengthier answer than an FAQ could provide. But why should that stop me??? Perhaps these aren't "frequently" asked questions, but I guarantee your life will be richer for knowing the answers to these FAQ (fake asked questions).

{This is the face of someone you want to know everything about!}

Q: When did you first realize you were so talented and beautiful? But no, seriously...you're SO talented and beautiful!!!
A: Oh my, thank you! :) I first realized I was talented and beautiful around the age of 5. I was cast in the most important role in my kindergarten Christmas play. Even with mouse face paint and ears, I looked ravishing. In fact, I was so fascinated by my natural beauty, that I was nearly late to make my entrance. In the natural confusion of things, I entered from the wrong side of the stage. For some reason the audience found the flub entirely hilarious. And then it hit me: "They're laughing at what I did! I'm AMAZINGGGGG!" And that was that

Q: Between Elle Woods and RuPaul, who would you cite as your biggest influence?
A: Trick question! Obviously my biggest influence is RuPaul dressed AS Elle Woods. Next!

Q: If your life were made into a movie, who would play you?
A: Hopefully Jenna Marbles. And if she's unavailable, Steve Buscemi. What? He's an amazing actor.

Q: Please list, in order of importance, the most important things in life.
A: 1. Looking good. That is all.

Q: You always smell so good. I'm not stalking you...I swear...I just...have a special computer with...smell-o-vision...so anyway, what perfume do you wear?
A: Unlike most people, I do not believe your fragrance should only be smelled within arm's reach. I firmly believe it should announce your arrival as loud as possible. Besides, if it doesn't, who will?? That said, I wear a special concoction mixed for me by the aborigine people of Australia which is equal parts dingo dung and papaya extract. It smells like if a dream catcher caught a nightmare. Covered in dingo dung.

Q: What advice would you give someone who wants to start a blog?
A: Don't. I don't need any more competition.

Q: Can we be best friends???
A: Sure! Of course, you realize being my best friend means you compliment everything I do/say and buy me presents, right?

Q: Who do you think you are? No, really...?
A: When I figure it out, you'll be the first to know.

Crave Cupcakes Review

You probably already know, but my birthday was a couple of weeks ago--okay okay, even I'M getting sick of hearing myself say that. What can I say? I just LOVE being alive!! But this time it's kind of pertinent. For my birthday, my parents took my to a Houston cupcakery I hadn't been to before, Crave Cupcakes. 

{Yep, that's my mom in the front, gettin' her pose on.}

I ordered some gluten free cupcakes from them a while back for my Mom's birthday, as they were the only cupcake shop in Houston with both a gluten free cupcake and delivery. Not long after that, she and my dad discovered the shop not far from one of their favorite lunch spots downtown. So following a birthday lunch (complete with cheesecake), we made a trip for another birthday indulgence.

{Strawberry Cupcakes}

{Chocolate Cupcakes}

{Cinnamon Cupcakes}

{Italian Cream Cupcakes}

{Breakfast Zucchini Walnut Cupcakes. Finally, an excuse to eat cupcakes for breakfast}

 {Here's what she's busy making}

There's lots to look at, between the gal pressing out old-fashion mixer-stamped fondant toppers and the delectable cupcakes in their cases, but I gotta say the wall of vintage mixers is super cool. It's like a cotton-candy-colored wall of dreams of yesteryear!!!

{It's an old timey version of my own pink mixer!}

Okay, so I know you're dying to know what cupcake I got. Well, after the Sprinkles disaster, I thought I'd give the cinnamon cupcake it's come-upance, so that's what I got. And boy did it come-upent!

The cake was a sweet cinnamon cake, incredibly moist and fluffy. The icing was an equally sweet cinnamon sugar cream cheese. I would have happily eaten it off a shoe. And it was daintily topped with a Crave insignia'd fondant. Freshly pressed that day, I'm sure.

{Ma mere with her gluten free cuppie}

{My dad with his cupcake--same as me--and his staple drink, coffee.}

We were all quite pleased with our choices, but in the end, my stomach's capacity was reached, and I could eat no more. Who knew it was possible?? I'm not worried about one wounded soldier, though. There's a whole army waiting for my return.