Strike a #Pose

{Zara blazer, Stylemint Newbury tee, 7 for All Mankind jeans,
Jeffrey Campbell wedges, Kate Spade iPhone case}

Because I consider all of you an extension of myself, I imagine that, like me, you'd want to stay abreast of the biggest trends in all things social media/popularity. With that, I bring you Pose, a free app that takes a Narcissistic interest in fashion to a whole.nuther.level. It's basically Instagram for style. I've been obsessedies with it since I got it a couple of weeks ago, and because I don't have the kind of boyfriend willing to go into work late just to take pictures of my adorable outfits for my blog (rude, right?), I rely on Pose to bring the latest and greatest of my wardrobe to all of my fans*. And if you're not already using it, I thought I'd round up a few of my favorite looks.

If you download Pose, you can follow me as "cupcakesomg". 
*At a Christmas party this weekend, I was speaking with a friend of mine about giving a name to my CupcakesOMG! readers/fans, not unlike Lady Gaga has bequeathed the name "Little Monsters" to hers. I'm currently accepting ideas, so if you've got a good one, leave it in the comments! 

{H&M hat, Express sweater, Express jeans, Foley + Corinna bag, Sam Edelman heels} 

 {Zara sweater, Express jeans, Sam Edelman heels}

White Paper Packages Tied Up in Bling

{Step 1: Cut your shapes from glitter paper and buy Glue dots. Step 2: Adhere glue dots to "stickers".
Step 3: Stick those stickers all over your present to your heart's content.}

You know how they say "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?" Yeah, well that's all crap. Imitation is the sincerest form of being unoriginal. But originality doesn't really matter when you're copying something that's pretty. It just...doesn't.

Take for instance the beautiful Christmas paper you see above/below. A few months ago, I found this artwork (which, incidentally, is a copy of some Kate Spade dishes), and decided to make my own Christmas wrapping paper in its form. Because, it's like I always say: "what's on the inside counts, but it's what's on the outside that MATTERS." (It's true for people and presents.)

So, armed with my one-dimensional vanity and a zest for Christmas rivaled only by the Target lady, I got to work on the project. The whole thing was pretty easy, save for the part where I had to cut out my own "stickers," but just like beauty, Christmas is pain. 

You'll Need:

• White wrapping paper (I bought four rolls because they were fairly small--from Papyrus)
• Decorative paper (gold glitter, gold metallic, white glitter--all from A.C. Moore)
• Scrapbook circle punch 
• Glue dots
• Your imagination
• An appreciation for beauty

It's pretty simple, really. Just cut out a punch of dots, put the glue dots on the back, and then place wherever you like on your wrapped gift.

I did an overlay scale design on this one, which was clearly my favorite.

I did a heavy concentration in the upper corner on this one, and let it disippate across the package.

For extra punch, I tied a couple of the larger packages with wired, glittery red ribbon.

It's probably the best wrapping anyone has ever done in the history of time.

Has anyone else ever ripped off designed their own wrapping paper before? Have you even wrapped your presents yet?? Why doesn't Target air crazy Target lady commercials year round????

A Comment About Comments

I don't think I'm out of line to speak on behalf of every single blogger of all time when I say, getting comments on my blog posts literally makes my life. It tells me that you're here and you're compelled to interact with me, probably in thanks to my never-ending supply of charm and self-involvement. Or for your own blog promotion. Look, I don't care what your motivation is, all I want to say is that I love it. 

However--and stay with me here--there are way too many of you to count who are pissing me straight off! 

Many of you will leave a comment with a question or a funny remark or just a great compliment about my beauty, to which I'd love to respond back, but I can't. Why not? Because you're not leaving an email for me to do so. And it just killsssssssssssssssssssss me!!

Sure, I might have a link to your blog in the comment, and I might even visit your blog (which I do quite often), but I'm probably definitely not gonna seek out your email from there to write you back. I got stuff to do! Instead, I hit "reply" to the email your comment comes to me as and am either able to write you back directly or am met with some no-reply Blogger email that will be sent into a great abyss, never to be seen or heard from again, like Lindsay Lohan's career.

I'm not suggesting you put your email address in the comment itself (what are you, a n00b?). It's an easy fix, really. If you have a Blogger or Google account, all you have to do is include your email account on your profile page. Not sure if you've done this? Just check out your blogger profile and see if it says "Email" underneath your picture, like so:

If not, then update it. No, really, it IS that simple!

I swear, if you start doing this, I will write you back so hard. It will totally be worth it. Think of it as your own custom blog post. What's NOT to love, am I right? 

The Washington Ballet's "The Nutcracker" (and Why Dressing for the Theatre Matters)

{BCBG dress, H&M blazer, Sam Edelman heels, Michael Kors watch}

Because it's Christmastime and I'm classy and junk, Kyle and I went to The Washington Ballet's "The Nutcracker" last weekend. That's right people, I'm about to review a ballet--shit just got real.

First of all, take a moment to appreciate my adorable ensemble. In a slight "tip of my hat" to the ballerinas, my dress has just a peek of tulle at the bottom and I wore my hair high on my head. A bun would have been too literal, so I opted for a pony tail instead. 

And I looked amazing. The same can not be said of other people.

What happened to getting dressed for the theatre? Look, I think society has allowed us to come pret-tay far when it comes to looking like you've just given up nowadays compared to times long passed (i.e., flying, church, work), but I don't care who you are, yoga pants are NOT welcome at the theatre. <--Do you see the way I'm even spelling the word? You probably should dress up just to read it!

Did you pay more than $50 for a ticket? Did someone hand you a playbill? Is someone wearing a costume on a stage?? Do the words on the building outside include "theatre"??? "Then why the crap are you wearing yoga pants and sneakers??" I wanted to ask the woman who strolled in mere minutes before the show started.

I know some of you might try to run to her defense in your comfortable rubber-soled footwear, but I don't care what the excuse is: she came straight from work, she's gained/lost a few pounds and can't find anything that fits, etc. My answer to all of these things? Plan better! I don't care if she wears her comfy clothes to Target or some children's sports game or something else equally depressing. I do, however, care that she have respect for the only place that truly asks patrons to dress up a little. Shit, she could have just swapped the sneakers for a pair of heels--I mean, Iiiiiiiiiiii probably wouldn't have been fooled by the pants, but I'm sure plenty others would have been. The point I'm making is this: the ballerinas you see on the stage twirling and pas de deux-ing in their point shoes and emaciated dancer bodies are in no way "comfortable." Why should you be?

End rant.

As for the ballet itself, it was amazing. Initially, I was concerned with the sheer volume of children in the show. I've seen a couple renditions of The Nutcracker in my day, so I'm well aware there are several, and in some cases many, children in the production, but this just had a lot. The first half moved a bit slow, but the kids had pretty good direction to be cute and entertaining, despite their lack of dance experience. Finally, the Snow Queen came on and that's where things started to pick up.

{The lobby, complete with tulle-lined awnings and signed ballet slippers}

I've never personally taken ballet, but I have seen Black Swan, so I'm pretty sure that makes me an expert on technique. That said, the dancing was beautiful. The choreography was also quite different, with what felt like fewer solo numbers and more giggle-worthy moments, but clean and graceful nevertheless.

Perhaps the most unusual part of the entire ballet was the extremely erotic rendition of the Arabian Dance. Usually, these dancers look like Aladdin and Jasmin, but these looked more like Pochohantas and Tarzan. And good god, was it sexual! I didn't mind, but I'm guessing a few parents in the audience might have had to explain to their kids where babies come from following the performance.

So yeah, the choreography and the dancers were beautiful, the sets were gorgeous, and the interpretation was new and fresh. Even Kyle enjoyed himself, albeit only into the second act. And mostly because of the kids dressed as mice and frogs and other woodland creatures sitting on the side of the stage being silly. But hey, at least he wasn't wearing yoga pants!

How to Host Out of Town Visitors

{Obligatory blogger shot at a farmer's market} 

Normally, Tuesday posts are reserved for the often imitated, never duplicated (it's probably true) TwoFaced recipe series, in which The Paleo Project and I take one shared ingredient and whip up our own paleo masterpiece. But not today. Instead, I bring you photographic evidence as to why there was no paleo cooking or baking this week (spoiler alert: it involves alcohol and non-paleo food). 

You see, continuing our blog BFF adventures, Jenna came down this weekend just to visit me for Blogger Blitz DC and stayed at the CupcakesOMG! abode. I don't know if it was the making her sleep on my couch part, force feeding her carbohydrates, or missing out on basically any and all D.C. sightseeing, but at some point this weekend, I realized I was a terrible hostess. I'm hoping that some of our new inside jokes and a rare glimpse into life with Kyle made the visit totally worth it for her, otherwise, this.is.awkward.

{First stop of the trip--a house of chocolate!}

{Peanut Butter Hot Chocolate with a homemade marshmallow. I mean, have you even HAD
a homemade marshmallow? It's like the angels were sitting around one day and all "let's make
the most delicious treat of all time" and then the prettiest of the angels took the lightest of the
sweetest clouds and dropped it down to Earth in little bite-sized squares. The end.}

Following a busy day of eating, shopping, and the watching half of The Help on OnDemand, we decided we should venture out for more eating and a lot more drinking.

{Kyle joined up with us at dinner and picked up the tab. He's a regular sugar daddy!}

{I do like to enjoy a beer through a straw sometimes, yes. This, however is plain ridiculous,
but for what it's worth, I was trying to play them like a harmonica. I don't even know
HOW to play the harmonica, btw.}

Jenna's second/last day in D.C. included brunch at Liberty Tavern, which happens to have one of the best brunch buffets in all the land. It also makes for great posing opportunities.

{Thank god we're eating again!!!}

{The one "monument" of sorts I let Jenna see--the fountain at Dupont Circle}

When's the last time you hosted a visitor? Do you cook for guests or do you go out?? Am I a bad hostess for not taking visitors to see the sights???

Bloggin' Bout Bloggers

{Me with Jenna from The Paleo Project, duh}

Typically, my Sunday nights involve yoga pants, glasses, and zero make-up, dreading another work week and watching "Once Upon a Time." P.S. Am I the only person watching this?? OMG, anyone who's watching it will you please let me know so we can talk about it so much??? 

So when Jenna told me about the Blogger Blitz event in DC (held Sunday night), I was hesitant to not only meet new people, but to also be taken away from my usual Sunday routine that could easily be mistaken for that of an anti-depressant-addicted, mild-aged divorcee with three too many cats.

Color me pleasantly surprised when we ended up not only having a great time meeting other DC-area bloggers, but looking amazing whilst doing it! 

{Zara sweater, H&M leggings, Sam Edelman pumps, Michael Kors watch}

{Jenna made this sweet ass gif, which I promptly stole}

And that concludes the "detail shots of my top" portion of our evening.

But interestingly, the evening wasn't only about the clothes. It was about meeting other bloggers. And not just the one who flew in from Boston to stay with me (more on that later this week). It was here I met Whitney of Cheerios and Beer, a hilarious read and my new blog-turned-real-life-friend. We're getting dinner tomorrow, NBD.

{Jenna and Whitney--but then, you already knew that from the nametags, didn't you?}

And I also met Megan, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Zooey Deschanel. We may or may not have sung an inappropriate amount of "Who's that girrrrrrrrl's?"

{Me and who's-that-girl-it's-Megan...of Freckled Italian}

And then there was Ashlyn who is cute as a button and just as sweet as can be.

{Jenna and Ashlyn}

And then there was Alison, who put the whole incredible event together. 

{Jenna and Alison}

There was a whole room of other bloggers I didn't get to spend as much/any time with, but I don't think I'm out of line when I say the whole thing was something of a success and we'll all likely reconvene another time.

And now for the obligatory CupcakesOMG! and Paleo Project shots:

 

What does YOUR Sunday routine consist of?? Do you watch "Once Upon a Time"? Do you even know what it is???

Things I Bought That I Love, And Other Things I Want to Copy From Mindy Kaling

{Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? And Other Concerns, Mindy Kaling}

When I identify someone I deem to be the [fill in the blank adjective here] version of me, I immediately make up elaborate stories in my mind about what great friends we would be. 

Case in point: Oh, Chelsea Handler? She's like the alcoholic version of me. We're great friends because we like to retell stories from our childhood using superfluous profanity and embellished "truths." Lady Gaga? She's totally the musically-gifted version of me. We're really close because we share a love of glitter, acting like models, and gays. (I could say the same thing about RuPaul.)

So, when I learned that Mindy Kaling was writing a book called "Is Everything Hanging Out Without Me? And Other Concerns" I was obviously all like "holy hell! She IS me!!!" I mean, a quick look at the book jacket tells you pretty much everything you're in for inside: pink, a pensiveness that could be mistaken for insecurity, and a reference to Toddlers & Tiaras. I'm sorry, have we met?? 

As I read page 143, I literally dogeared it, it was so me. Like, physically, folded the upper corner of the page over just for future reference, it was so dead on. It reads:

"The Internet also makes it extraordinarily difficult for me to focus. One small break to look up exactly how almond milk is made, and four hours later I'm reading about the Donner Party and texting all my friends: DID YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THE DONNER PARTY AND HOW MESSED UP THAT WAS? TEXT ME BACK SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT!

I found my productive writing-to-screwing-around ratio to be one to seven. So, for every eight-hour day of writing, there is only one good productive hour of work being done. The other seven hours are preparing for writing: pacing around the house, collapsing cardboard boxes for recycling, reading the DVD extras pamphlet from the BBC Pride & Prejudice, getting snacks lined up for writing, and YouTubing toddlers who learned the 'Single Ladies' dance. I know. Isn't that horrible?"

Oh, did you forget you weren't reading my writing?? Yeah, I had the same reaction.

So for those of you who don't know who in the hell I'm gushing about yet, Mindy Kaling is a comedy writer, actress, and occassional girl group Subtle Sexuality member. Put simply, you probably know her best as superficial, ditzy customer service rep Kelly Kapoor from The Office.

What I like about Mindy's book (oh yeah, we're on a first name only basis) is its construction. While she follows something of a linear storyline, beginning with her awkward chubby years in high school crushing on a mean Sengalese boy named Duante Diallo, following her through her college years at Dartmouth where she meets two of her best and perhaps most defining friends, and finally her present day gig as a big time comedy writer, she tells her story in more of a short story, essay, or her own coined-term pleist (a piece with a list-y quality) kind of way. I also love the titles of each chapter. Do you ever notice the titles of my blog posts?? God, I hope I'm not pining over clever blog titles for 27 minutes-plus on average for no good reason. A title that encapsulates simultaneously what you're writing about and is also just obscure enough to further pique your interest is an art form in itself. "Revenge Fantasies While Jogging" and "Why Do Men Put Their Shoes on So Slowly" are personal favorites of mine.

Beyond all of that though, "Is Everyone Hanging Out With Me?" is just a fun read. I laughed basically every 4 and a half minutes. And when it was over? I'm fairly certain I shed a single tear. And then I suffered a temporary, but no less devastating, bout of depression. But the good news is, I can continue to get my Mindy-fix right on her own very blog "Things I Bought That I Love," which is exactly what it sounds like. So in the spirit of Mindy, I thought I'd share with you a thing I bought that I love: So Delicious Coconut Milk Egg Nog.

 I have The Paleo Project to thank for this find, and you can be assured that we'll be enjoying a grotesque amount of this spiked with rum during her visit this weekend.

 It's simple, really. It's delicious, it tastes like cow's milk egg nog, and when sprinkled with nutmeg, you'll be transported to a place and time where Christmas threw up.

So anyway, you should probably just buy the book. And then sip this stuff. And then weep and weep and weep when you've finished both.